This poem is very dark and contains content of rape and abuse if this not for you please carry onwards
I hear the floor creek
Closer and closer toward my bedroom door
I try to stay quiet hiding under my covers
Though I know he will find me
I hope he doesn't hear my heart beat
Or fear me praying God will protect me tonight
But as I do start to cry because I know
Tonight's one of those nights
When God just doesn't hear me
I let out one more sob
And the door swings open
The hallway lights shine in
But darkness radiates off him so strong
He has a smile on his face
Nothing will stop him
I can not even defend myself
He gets on top, of me holding me down
As I try to get away
He pulls me back covering my mouth
I am too scared to breathe
A few weeks pass by
I hear him moaning my name
While stumbling about the house
Closer and closer he walks towards me
Now he is on my bed touches
And before he even touches me
I begin to cry as I wonder
Where is God tonight
This time I fight back
I yell
I cry
But he just shuts me up
I do everything I can to loose his grip
He is hurting me so bad but
No
He will not let me go
Not until he is finished
He leaves me lying there
To think of what I have lost
"I'm sorry" is not enough
He doesn't even realize what it has cost
Another few weeks pass by
The shame keeps getting worse
Too afraid to tell
Though it's so hard to hid this pain
Day after day
I must have been bad that night
I hear him coming closer as I'm laying on the floor
Lord I would do anything
If you keep him from walking through that door
But he does
I finally realize I am all alone
No one to protect me
No one who can save me
So I lay back down and take it
But he throws me on the bed
And makes me realize my worst fears
When I want to just be dead
I don't want to kill myself
I just want to die
God, why have you abandoned me?
Can you not see the tears I cry?
I will hurt myself later
After you have hurt me
This blood that stains the sheets
Tangled up on my bed
Reminds me of the world's
The images you have put inside my head
I can still feel you touching and grabbing me
Forcing my body closer to yours
The feeling of your cold fingers all over me
I constantly try to wash away
From my scarred skin
Since that first night
I live my life in fear
You are the reason I love too easily
Why I can't love at all?
Because I trusted you
I can no longer trust another human
The pain I had inside
You will never know
They will never understand
That my scars don't even begin to show
