Yours Truly

Chapter 2

(Hope)

11 May 10:15 am

Dear diary,

I woke up panting this morning. My hair was a disheveled mess and what was weird is I don't even remember what was so bad about the dream. I have so much stress now and I am also getting a knotted and queasy stomach daily now. The doctor said it is because of the anticipation I feel. But I reckon it's anxiety from moving and seeing Mark again, this reason mainly comes to mind because the last time I felt like this was when we were in the early stages of our relationship.

How can it be that there are only 4 more days until I travel?!

My mind is swirling with too many thoughts right now. My room needs to be cleaned and without all my stuff it is just rubbish. All in all, it is an absolute catastrophe. Rubbish tainting the relaxed feel of my empty room, paperwork spread on my pristine white shelves. It feels so empty, so devoid of light in here. I cannot wait to decorate my place in Greece.

11 May 11:30 am

Sorry about the break there, my mind wandered off. To be completely honest, I blank out quite a lot. Sometimes I blank out for hours at a time wondering where the time went. I rarely blank out in social situations because it makes people uncomfortable to be around me. Lately I have been feeling numb, Mark hasn't been in touch because he thought I needed some space to get ready to move. He was so happy I decided to move to the same town as him.

'Woof'

Oh god, that sound, horrifyingly loud, technically the devil's alarm. Half the time it is either bark or a continuous phrase of woof's. Those are her only two forms of language. When she woof's her mouth opens wide and you can see all her canine teeth are sharp and long, sadly I have to leave her here with my family. I've grown up with her and she's a good 80 years old in human years.

I didn't know how long I had been sitting on my windowsill for but my legs were numb. I feel so empty right now, tears brimming at the edge of my eyes ready to come out at the thought of leaving my childhood pet behind. And I thought it was bad having to lose our other dog.

The windowsill was so cold, it sent shivers up my spine as I blare my lofi music playlist into my ears. My eyes glare at the outside weather.

It was cloudy and gray with not a ray of sunshine coming through. The cloudy weather was quite a lot like Manchester. Cold, rainy and was not at all very pleasant to live in, thank God I live in Wales and not Manchester. However, the weather is the same which is also a factor in deciding to move. Greece is beautiful, sunny most of the year, and even the rain is beautiful. I mean think about it, dancing in the rain with the love of my life, it is so romantic.

I should clean the remaining bits in my old room because my little sister is moving into my room and she has a lot of stuff. I am going to miss my family so much. They said that they would give me space for the first few months to get myself sorted and then we would FaceTime every day.

I decided to stretch my legs and go for a walk in the park. The sun decided to come out, another flaw of Wales's weather, it changes every split second. The wind shook the trees around me, the only sounds I can hear are the soft chirps of the birds above me and the trudging of my shoes in the damp grass.

Oh, how I miss Mark, I have not talked to him in ages, he has been finishing his work so that he can also take a gap year with me. I can almost feel his hand intertwined with mine, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. 3 more days, just breathe Hope. That's it, I consoled myself, I am so happy that I am moving to him and not somewhere else.