Genesis

Chapter 3: Monachopsis

Monachopsis – the subtle persisting sense of being out of place.

She was falling, and she couldn't move. No end to the void and no-one around to fill its emptiness. Eerie pale rock, solid and unmoving. The monster, falling, freezing, falling, icy-cold blue, glowing, safe, a brilliant smile and warm red eyes-

"Pay attention to your lesson, Councilwoman."

"Ah!"

With a jolt Gold jumped up from her daydreams, eyes wide and hands hurting from where she had been balling them into fists. She was in... the Science Center, the space functioning as unofficial classroom for her lessons replacing purple intersected by glowing light... and the two dots on the mask of her tutor burning into her gaze as she looked up guiltily and flinched once more. "Um... I am! Yes." Sort of, perhaps, maybe not that much after all; the file on her holographic tablet she had been taking notes in was rather empty still...

It was clear the second Councilmember did not buy her words in the slightest either, his shoulders squaring up just barely underneath his robes. "You are not."

Flinching at the stern voice of her tutor-for-today Gold bowed her head and averted her eyes; though she could not see the man's face through both of their masks she knew very well the look of displeasure that had to be on it. "You were explaining to me the possible effects stemming from changes within the position of the debris ring circling the planet, and then you asked me what to do in case Onyx City would fall into negative consequences pertaining to that. I was thinking of the answer," she meekly responded, the lie making her chest clench. She had not been, she had been unable to keep her mind focused at all... No wonder the second member of the Council had noticed it.

"You are taking too long," the older man scolded her as her body hunched down and she could only stare at her screen. "You will not have time to mull and ponder every single option when making decisions that benefit the city."

Quietly Gold nodded, wishing she could just rub her tired eyes underneath her mask which were aching from staring at the holographic display for so long in the overly-lit room. "The economic man maximises, the administrative man satisfices," she settled on, struggling to recall the meaning of the statement with how heavy her head was. Waking up after a nightmare every night for weeks on end now was taking it out of her...

"Indeed. A decision that is best for the people does not exist, at best we can only satisfy their basic needs. They are too... fickle, to different in their individual demands to maximise the demands of all. The decision you make must therefore be rationalised by science only, and in that way, satisfy the needs of the citizens."

"Because science is objective and must not be questioned. People have hidden meanings and needs that we cannot account for, science is purely supported by facts. To make the best decision we must be unbiased and guided only by what is true, not by lies," Gold recounted from earlier lessons, the words bitter and heavy on her tongue. If they asked her, it was impossible to be guided only by what was true, which had to be an impossibility to reach within itself- but she was not asked anything and thus she kept quiet. She knew very well what punishments awaited people going against their leader's orders.

Slowly the Councilman got up, screens around him alight with information and figures as he moved around with his limping gait that had always made the tenrec wonder in silence. "We the Council are rational and objective in our acting, for we let only science be our guide. This is why we are most suitable to rule over Onyx City, and help our citizens find happiness through our laws." Turning towards her he folded his arms into his sleeves, calibrated deliberation flowing from every movement. "Sacrifices must be made to protect what we call the 'greater good'."