Voices

the terrace

That night on the terrace was the last time I saw you smile

Was the last time I heard your voice

But these voices grew stronger and powerful and for a moment I completely forgot who I was.

I am sorry love. I am so sorry.

I don't deserve to miss you. I don't even deserve to think about you.

I am sorry for pushing you.

They blame you for your death.

They think you were the one who killed yourself.

But it was all my fault.

I killed you.

The voices which I tried to control whole my life, defeated me for that moment on the terrace. They told me to push you and I did. I saw horror and betrayal on your face when you fell. And I will never forgive myself.

I never deserved your love.

I deserve to be in a mental facility.

But I have lost the chance to get fixed.

Soon these voices are going to take full control on me.

Before that happens, before I hurt anyone else, I have to stop these voices in my head and there is only one way.

I find myself standing on the parapet of the same terrace you fell from. I look down. Falling from a 50-story building will definitely kill me. That's what I want.

Strong cold wind hits my face.

I take one long breath and...

I jump