Just Jlyke things.

Dungeons and Dumbasses

Dm au supremacy. These roles were randomly generated sooooo

Arlo - Dm
Sera - Cleric
Blyke - Bard
John - Sorceror
Isen - Druid
Remi - Monk

Crack. No warnings.

  °•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Can I fuck the tree?" Isen asked, looking at Arlo from over his dm board.

"Why the fuck would you want to do that?" Remi questioned from her place at the table.

"Why be a tree hugger, when you can be a tree fucker."

"Understanable." Blyke deadpanned.

"No, no it is not." John groaned, his head in his hands.

Arlo said nothing, a blank look on his face. Isen wasn't even the Bard. And it wasn't just Isen. EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO FUCK EVERYTHING.

Sera tried to get it on with a God. Isen has tried to fuck almost any plant he has come across. Blyke fucks anyone or anything he sees, and Remi is just constantly trying to steal people away from him. John? John tried to fuck Blyke once as a joke, and it worked, so technically he has also been fucking things.

"Well? Can I fuck the tree?"

An idea forms in his mind, and his face contorts into an evil smirk.

"Role to seduce." Arlo says.

Isen rolls his die and grins at the number.

"Nat 20."

Arlo's smile grows wider.

"As you try to seduce the tree, it transforms into a forest nymph. A beefy one."

"Oh? Awesome! So then we-"

"The nymph is so enamored by you that it marries you on the spot."

"Wait, hold on now-"

"You are now a couple and if you ever try to fuck another plant you will be cheating on him and he will get mad and kill you." Arlo smiles, quite happy with himself.

"... but did we end up fucking though?"

"Why are you like this?"

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Sera please."

"I'm thinking."

"Sera I am on deaths door."

"Shut up, I'm still thinking."

"The only reason death has yet to let me into his house is because he's too busy making coffee."

"Oh my God, be quiet."

As of current, the gang was fighting a dragon. Both John and Isen had gone down, Remi was extremely low, and Blyke was trying to convince the dragon to stop attacking them.