[ENGLISH : VERY DIFFERENT STYLE FROM WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE : NO FAN FICTION] enjoy🤍
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pov : you're at the airpoirt with your loved ones, about to leave you're current life in order to live the life of your dreams.
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This was the moment I had been dreaming of my entire life. If I took the next step, everything that I've ever wanted would start to fall into place. Yet, I was hesitating.
Leaving your life behind, no matter how much of a misery it truly is, is never an easy thing to do. But when you are 15 and create entire blockbusters in your mind with pure meraki, you promise yourself that eventually you will put those films out there for everyone to see.
Well, skip forward 10 years and many sleepless, hardworking nights later and here you have me standing at the Airport, off to Los Angeles, after I had sold my finished screenplay to a production company.
If you had told my teenager self that I would be here today, then I would have believed you without hesitation. I have always been very convinced of myself, my talent and my work. Some may call me full of myself, but in all honesty, I have just always had this feeling that I was born to make movies. It is not only my passion, it is my purpose in life.
Neither am I surprised by the fact that I was able to sell my screenplay, nor that my dream is now becoming reality. It has always just been a matter of when rather than anything else. However, I am more than surprised by how hard it feels to actually step into my new life.
I am surrounded with my parents, siblings and closest friends. Unquestionably a weird view ; seeing your family and friends together always creates a strange atmosphere. Besides, my parents have no clue about the goodbye party my friends threw last weekend.
To be fair, I didn't know anything about it either up until I entered my house and got welcomed by all my dearest friends who threw that surprise party. What started as a fun, reckless evening ended as an extremely sentimental and nostalgic night. For the most part it was just drunk us recalling all the fun memories we had made during the past two decades. By the end of the night, I had come to the conclusion that though I am undoubtably an introverted loner, I would have been lost in a total and complete mess without my friends. I guess our little, stupid conversations meant more to me than I thought they would.
My family on the other hand? They are the ones who made my life a mess in the first place. It's not like I don't love them, I just don't love them. Don't get me wrong, they have been quite supportive of my life decisions and with who I turned out to be, but my parents were never my safe haven. Instead, they were the reason for most of my heartaches. They always assumed that the reason for my dissatisfaction with them was because I was in puberty and just overall really weird, but they never even noticed how their actions and words killed me inside. Having to go through that every single day of your life turnes it into a misery with ease.
In the fullness of time I had accepted that my life was simply depressing and tried to adapt to those circumstances. I simply had no source of comfort, happiness or enlightenment. Not even my friends could help me with that.
But then I entered the world of cinema. And suddenly everything changed.
Trying to put into words how much cinema has changed and affected my life would be an impossible thing to do. No words in the english language could ever express how deeply I love films and how they changed my life. And even if they could, nobody would ever be able to accurately comprehend it.
My life goal became to produce a movie. The pure thought of seeing my name pop up at the credits alone gave me goosebumps. It was never about winning an Academy Award, working with my celebrity crushes or getting rich. It was about living my passion and proving to myself that I can be whoever I would like to be. So, inspired be the fear of being average, I created the life of my dreams by writing down movie after movie.
I was quick to realise that the majority of people romanticise their goals but dread the execution. A true shame, because the magic those people are looking for lies within the work they are avoiding. So I made sure that if the plan I was executing did not work out, I shall simply change the plan, not the goal. Giving up was never an option.
Going on this journey was the hardest thing of my life. The number of people who told me that I was "wasting my life" and "will never make it" is actually unbelievable but also somehow motivated me a lot. I always knew I would prove them wrong. And so I did.
I wish I could see their faces when they found out I am currently at the Airport, about to fly across the globe, where the pre-production of my first film ever will begin shortly. Perhaps they believed it even less than I did, because it still hasn't quite hit me yet that I am done dreaming.
I never would have thought that entering this thrilling phase of my life would be a hard thing to do. In fact, I considered it the most natural thing that will have ever happened to me.
Yet, here I am, clinging onto my suitcases and looking into the eyes of my loved ones deeply and refusing to leave them behind me and simply go. Their eyes are filled with tears representing our sweet memories, so are mine. Will I ever find people like these again?
This is certainly not like how my 15 year old self imagined it to be. I had hoped for the last goodbye to be bittersweet and the ending of the most sorrowful part of my life. Though now, looking back at it, it seems like it was not as bad after all.
It is hard to turn the page when you know someone won't be in the next chapter, but the story must go on. And mine has just begun.
