Sorry that I am reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally inactive...
ps I hope my fellow panemaniacs get my mahogany reference....
We arrived smoothly in Vegas after that, and bleary eyed and zombie like with fatigue, we headed down to the underworld. I, despite the preceding success of a select number of my camp-mates, had never been to the underworld. It's just not my kind of place. But hey, I guess it's about time I met my um, wait while I work it out... Ah: future father in law and great uncle. Some stuff to know about my family: gram gave birth on a floating island, gramps is thunderpants himself, incidentally making me my boyfriend's uncle's grandson, and also meaning that technically Nico is a generation older than me. I am related to every single one of the campers, at least all of the twelve Olympians+one (Hades), my centaur trainer, Chiron is my grandpa's half brother, making him Nico's great half-uncle. also, my great uncle and great aunt, who are brother and sister and not married, gave birth to a sheep, making me the something times removed (I think) cousin of the nice rug hanging off Thalia's pine back at camp half blood. Mr. D, the camp director, is my half-uncle, Artemis is my Aunt, Athena is my half-auntie, Ares is my half-uncle, . Yay for ancient Greek families! Oh, and I'm also engaged to around fourteen girls, thanks to a game of Hacky sack and the later-discovered Greek custom that throwing an apple at someone equals engagement.
Well, this is what happened when I met Lord H...
His doorman, Bob, having been given a grudging pay rise, welcomed us into the void that was supposedly a palace, but felt more like indefinable darkness.
We were crowded around a nice mahogany dining table, Bob taking up two seats' worth on his bench, Duke next to him, Nico squashed between Hazel and me like an underworldly sandwich Hades at the head of the table, next to an alabaster throne that seemed to be shot through with springtime, which I guessed was for Persephone, who was absent, but apparently plotting with Athena downstairs. A lantern that gave the impression of an asthmatic old man dangled above the platter of roasted boar. I had to admit, small talk with his majesty the lord of the underworld was kind of tricky. The old 'when in doubt, comment on the weather' trick wasn't much of an advantage. still Nico, Bob and Hazel kept up a jittering conversation, and dessert, abrosia mixed with chocolate-fudge seemed like it deserved a recommendation on tripadvisor, though I doubted it contained a best restaurant for damned souls category.
Then we got to the headquarters.
We were in the dungeons of hades' crib, but there was some kind of magical light that sliced through the fake windows, like an imperial gold knife cutting some REALLY discoloured black butter. There were some pretty nice furnishings in there, armchairs with silvery throws, plump cushions with tassels and legs fashioned from more alabaster. There was a table in the middle of the room, with a tray of rainbow cupcakes to die for and a red leather bound notepad with the thinnest pages you have seen outside the dictionary. Athena was asleep with her mouth open about a centimetre in one armchair, Persephone was Iris messaging somebody in whispers, as not to wake her. Apollo was writing something that looked like a bad haiku on some parchment. Asclepius was watching everybody calmly, through half moon spectacles with frames as slender as a spider's thread, absent mindedly holding hands with the rainbow goddess herself, who was typing furiously, albeit with only one hand, in what appeared to be a macbook air. Annabeth Chase was braiding a strand of hair distractedly, whist frowning over a scroll that seemed to have had a close encounter with a paper shredder, judging by the edges. Thalia Grace, with new grey circled eyes, was next to her, staring blankly into the distance. Artemis and the other hunters were out somewhere, and Hera was drinking what looked like an espresso but was probably nectar, lounging on the armchair nearest to the table, next to a half eaten cupcake, brushing her hair with a pencil that she was also using to make some notes that I couldn't see. Bob was humming as he mopped, just down the corridor, and Nico, Hazel, Duke and I were standing awkwardly in the doorway, with nowhere to sit, until Persephone gave four taps with her open toed wedges, and an extra four chairs appeared, and a black velvet, more regal-looking one for Nico and Hazel's dad.
Annabeth looked up in surprise, her topknot unravelling as its only pin fell out. she looked straight at me, and sighed.
"You'd better sit down."
