Hands to my self

Prologue

The handcuffs squeezed my wrists a little. The mattress is also not very comfortable, and I can't sleep because of the hellish noise at the 23rd Los Angeles Police Station. The police seem to argue about something that went wrong with their request for doughnuts. Instead of arresting real bandits, they arrest me just for entering a house. I didn't even steal something, I just wanted to know what it was like. I just wanted to know what her house was like. And now I'm here, in a smelly cell, in the company of unbearable police officers, and wishing I had never done such madness.

A few hours before

I hear Kurt Cobain's voice and I know it's time to wake up. I feel extremely tired after spending 4 fucking hours tidying up and cleaning a scene. I'm Lauren Jauregui, I'm 25 years old, and I'm a film intern with the famous director Drake Hammes. Intern was just in the name. The last thing I did for Drake was nothing related to cinema intern. He made me clean his house, walk his dogs, wash his car, all kinds of household chores. Drake was a lazy son of a bitch. I don't think I haven't resigned so far because his new movie has something that interests me. The star of the film, which told the story of a serial killer, had nothing more, nothing less, than my favorite actress, Camila Cabello. I've been completely in love with her since she made the Lost Stars series. Camila was a young actress, born in Cuba, but had lived here since she was 5 years old. She is 26 years old and lives here in LA. I always wanted to know where she lived, and until 6 months ago I had no hope of meeting her until I learned that she would make Drake's new movie, which means that I would have the opportunity.

I get out of bed lazily and go to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Soon I leave, putting on jeans, a black leather jacket, my prescription glasses and a Calvin Klein blouse, which had prints from the Brooklyn Bridge in NY, a place I was crazy to visit but I never had the money. I leave my room and see my friends and apartmentmates, Dinah and Ally, making out. They have always been a couple, we had studied together in high school and college. Dinah was a personal trainer at a gym and Ally was a lawyer in a law firm up the street. I always felt excluded when I was with them, I always felt out of it. I had a girlfriend once in my life, a high school girl at the age of 17. It lasted 3 months until she found out my intersexuality and kicked me to the curve. Let's say girls don't like to find out that I have a penis instead of a vagina.

- Will you let me get coffee at least? - I say smiling, and they separate immediately, scratching their heads and giving smiles. - Thanks.

I get my cup of coffee, and the keys to my Beetle Jerry, a gift from my grandmother.

- Good morning, Laur. - Ally speaks. - Take something to eat, don't just drink coffee, you'll be hungry. - Ally was extremely protective, and I confess that I love it, knowing that someone cares about me.

- All right, I'm going to get a granola bar. - I smile at her,saying goodbye to Dinah.

- Take care, Lauren! - Ally screams as I close the door, and  I scream a "okay" back, knowing that taking care of myself depended on Drake and Camila Cabello. Jerry takes a while to start, but soon I'm on the road, driving through the crazy traffic of LA. Most of the people here have sports cars, so I am an outsider in traffic with my Beetle.

The owner of the rights to the Drake film was Universal Pictures, which means that I had to drive to the studio. I get there quickly and run to the studio, because I have to prepare the actors' coffee. Most of them drank coffee, except Camila, who drank chai latte. I make the coffees quickly and I hear Drake scream for me. I speed up the pace and go to studio 4. Camila was recording a scene with Jared Leto, and I allow myself to observe the wonderful way she behaves. During all these 6 months Camila proved to be a very closed off person, just talking to Drake and Jared, ignoring everyone else. That includes me. She ignored me a lot, and always avoided looking at me.

- coffees guys! - I scream, and everyone stops so they can come drink their coffee. I bring Drake's coffee to him, who was in Camila's company. I give them their drinks, and Camila doesn't even look at me. I'm frustrated with that, because gee, I was completely in love with her and I didn't even get a simple thank you. This was something I should have gotten used to.

I run out of there when I see the look Drake gives me when he sees me standing their like an idiot staring at Camila. As I pass through the corridors of the dressing rooms, I see a girl rushing to me.

- Is Camila Cabello here? - She rush's out panting.

- Yes. Yes, she is. What do you want?

- They told me to deliver this to her. They said that since they didn't find her at her house, they decided to send it here. Can you give it to her? - I take the letter and I don't see any stamps or anything. But there it was Camila's address. HER ADDRESS!

- Don't worry, I'll deliver it. - The girl runs away, leaving me with a golden ticket in my hand. It was my chance to get close to Camila. I write down the address on my cell phone and go back to studio 4.

- Drake. There's a letter for Camila here.

Drake takes his eyes off the scene and stares at me with an interrogative air.

- Oh, yeah? Cut it! Camila dear, there's something here for you.

Camila is walking slowly to us and stops, staring at Drake with her eyebrows arched.

- For me? - Her voice is seductive and I notice a light accent.

- Yes. Lauren brought it.

- And who would Lauren be? - She asks.

- Me. - I speak shyly, raising my hand. Camila turns towards me, looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes. Her forehead wrinkles a little, as if she were confused by something. She walks to me and reaches out her hand.

- Can you give it to me? - She's talks directly to me. Her eyes stop on my face, I rub my cheeks and extend the letter to her.

- Here it is, Miss Cabello. - Camila takes the letter and her fingers slip into mine; I feel a shock in my body.

She takes the letter and moves away from us.

- Go ahead, Lauren. - Drake takes me out of the trance, poking my arm. I leave the studio running, with the aim of going to the place of my dreams. The house of the woman I am in love with. Camila lives in a condominium in Beverly Hills. There was no doorman, which made my job easier. I go up a steep street and stop Jerry in front of a beautiful mansion. I get out of the car hesitantly, looking everywhere, approaching the house. The door was locked. Shit, why didn't I think about it? But do you think...

I look under the carpet and find the key. I smirk, opening the door. Camila's mansion was wonderful. All the furniture was a light color and there were pictures of her around the house. Photos with her parents and sister, trips, awards, and on the wall there was a poster of Lost Stars. There was a staircase that went up to the second floor. I go up quickly, leaving my jacket on the floor.

The upstairs of Camila's house was wonderful. Camila's room was beautiful. It had a huge double bed and a balcony that had the view of LA. Her house was beautiful, and I find myself smelling her clothes. I don't know how long I've been here, but it's already dark and I decide I should leave before Camila arrives. But my plans are stopped when I see the lights downstairs are on. Shit. And as soon as I start going down the stairs, a group of police officers enters the house.

- Stop, stop, stop!

They have guns pointed at me and I feel trapped. Soon cold handcuffs are around my wrist.

- Miss, you're under arrest for breaking into Camila Cabello's house.

I feel a cold passing through my body. The police officers drag me out of the house and I see that there are 3 cop cars. I'm put in the back of one of them and I see Camila standing at the door step of her house. She stares at me without any expression and continues like this until the police car moves away and I don't see her anymore.