Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 54

Katniss

"You take all the pain away.
Save me if I become
My demons." -Starset

When the relapse finally ends, I sit numbly on the couch in Peeta's arms. I have no desire to stand or move or blink or even breathe. I'm left with the cold, empty feeling that relapses and flashbacks bring once they've left.

Peeta tells me that Doctor Aurelius knows about my relapse. He wasn't too happy with the fact that they're continuing to this extent.
"He's requesting you come in for a secondary evaluation." Peeta explains.
"Secondary evaluation?" I repeat, confused.
"To look at your condition. He wants us there in an hour or so."

Too look at my current condition? I thought we had all known my condition. I'm both mentally and physically unstable, severely concussed, and I'm still having relapses and flashbacks. There's not much to discuss.

Well, at least that's what I had thought until I slowly sat down in Doctor Aurelius's office an hour later.
"Miss Everdeen," He greets me.
I don't say anything in reply.
He opens a folder that must contain my medical case file. He looks over some papers and sighs.

"I understand that we're not doing great, are we?" He says, solemnly.
I look at my hands.
"Flashbacks and relapses still bad?" He asks. I still don't say anything, so he turns to Peeta.
"Yeah, they are." He says.
"We're going to have to run a test today to see where her scientific medical state is at, and then... then we'll discuss what we're going to do." Doctor Aurelius says to Peeta.
"Tests?" I ask, quietly.
"Just a blood draw." He replies.
I'm silent.

"We're going to have her admitted and then we'll administer the test." He says.
And that's what happens. Peeta helps me up and we walk through the hospital behind Doctor Aurelius, following him through stark white corridors and hallways. I walk past rooms of patients, and I feel a stab of pain when I see kids in the hospital rooms decorated in pastel animals. They shouldn't be here. They should be at home with their families. I feel like I can breathe again once we're out of the Pediatric Ward. When we come to the room that I'll stay in, Doctor Aurelius hands me a hospital gown.

"Once you're ready, we'll get the blood test." He says before leaving. I go into the small bathroom and put on the gown. As I'm about to open the door and leave, I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I look at my gray eyes that have obviously been crying. My bruised eye still looks purple-ish around the outside. My pale face and small stature looks more fragile than usual. I look sick. I quickly look away and exit.

When I leave the little bathroom, I walk quickly to the hospital bed. I sit on the edge until Peeta comes in.
"I let Dr. Aurelius know you were ready. He says he's on his way." Peeta says.
I nod slightly before pulling my legs up onto the bed.
"Hey," Peeta says, "You okay?"
"Yeah." I say. But I'm lying. And he knows.
"No you're not." He says.
I shake my head. I feel a lump in my throat and when I talk, it comes out as a strained whisper. My voice, even in a whisper, cracks.
"I'm just... I'm just sorry that everything that ha- happens ends up being some stupid medical thing for me." I whisper. I'm hoping he doesn't hear, but I know he does. I don't know what I want him to say.
"Katniss..." He says. But that's it. No comforting words because he can't think of any. I think I'm sort of glad. Instead of talking, he sits with me and holds my hand.

"No matter what, you'll still love me, right?" I ask, still whispering.
"No matter what." He says.
"The girl I fell in love with when I was seven is still you. Nothing Snow could ever do could change that. No hijacking, no torture, no brain condition. Katniss, I am in love with you. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I'll love you for the rest of time."

He takes my chin in his hand and turns my head towards him. We're face to face, and he stares into my eyes, trying to see the hurt in them. And then, as if in a fraction of a second, he presses his lips to mine. I begin to cry, making the kiss wet with my tears. He takes his arms and puts them around me. When we finally have to come up for air, I take my hand and wipe my eyes.