𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ; 𝐈. 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚

3 | I'm Here Now

Chapter 3: I'm Here Now
【⚠️: self harm】

Raven has never been the type of person to open up about her feelings and traumatic experiences, or anything personal that goes on in her head. She's never told anyone her life's story before. Even her parents don't know much of what she goes through.

The first time she cut herself, she was only twelve.

Can you imagine feeling so much pain at such a young age, that you decide it is best to hurt your body?

Of course there are many other ways for her to relief herself of her agony, but physical pain seems to be the only method that works best for her.

She's gotten so used to the feeling of comfort from a sharp object puncturing her skin, that once, the thought of cutting herself for something as meaningless as having to get up early was a good excuse to harm herself.

To her, her razor blade is like a drug, the best drug, even if it hurts her for the most part, she finds happiness in that hurt.

How she likes to think of it is that by feeling the pain of the razor, everything else that's hurting her becomes unimportant. It's as if she's harming herself as an excuse to get away from reality, from the real pain she has to face almost every single day.

"I'm sick, Midoriya, really sick."

He observes the girl for any signs of a cold, and touches her forehead to check for a fever. Nothing seems to be wrong with her, to him. "I don't get it..what do you mean? You look perfectly fine."

She chuckles, "That's not what I meant. This sickness isn't like that, it's more like..." She pulls the long sleeved top, that she's wearing, up to reveal an arm full of scars.

"Raven!" He gasps and scoots closer, not taking his eyes off her fragile arm. One cut in particular catches his eye. This one looks different from the rest, it looks fresh, almost as if it was added on only hours before his arrival.

"But why?" He asks with eyes already watering for the girl, feeling guilty for having neglected her moments ago.

"I'm tired of all of it," she says, "Some days are better than others, but lately things have been getting worse. I'm not happy. I'm scared...I need help, someone to be here for me..I have no one."

"Raven, you're not solving anything by doing this! Why hurt yourself even more?! No, look at me, look at me," he cups his hands around her face, "Don't do this, you know it's not right."

She bats her eyes and looks up with his hands still on her. It's the first time she's cried in months. The whole time she's been holding back all these emotions—no, she couldn't cry because it just wasn't possible to let anything out of her eyes when she'd cried everything out the first half of her life.

Now that Izuku's here, the tears which were once dried out have come back, and now she has enough salty water to cry a river, or even an ocean for that matter.

He takes his hands off her face and wraps them around her instead. This is their first hug and it's better than how Raven had imagined it. Izuku's hands are gentle and his body is over all, warm. His hair against her ear is soft. Everything about him is perfect.

"I'm here now," he reassures her.

Suddenly, she quivers a bit, sniffling quickly a few times before taking a deep breath and letting it out as she wraps her arms around him, completing their hug.

No one has ever said those words to her and meant them. Her so called friends are never there for her when she is at her lowest. Neither of her parents or siblings care to ever ask what's wrong.

In fact, it's them, her parents who are the problem, but as her parents, of course they're oblivious to what she's feeling. When they split up, Raven was only a year old. It was her dad who left, and her mom who stayed.

The first time her dad came back into her life was when she was eight. At the time, things seemed great because it was her first time getting to know her dad. She enjoyed being with him and through her little single digit child eyes, she thought he was perfect.

"Why can't you and mom just be together?" She'd ask him.

He'd always reply with, "Your mom and I like our space, it's better this way."

During that time she lived with him for two years while her mom worked hard to pay bills and maintain their home.

As the middle child in her family, her opinions about anything are brushed aside. It's not always bad though, 'cause sure living with her mom isn't the greatest most of the time, but there are moments when she enjoys being around the woman that raised her.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about her dad. That man she thought was perfect turned out to be a fraud. At the age of twelve, she stopped contacting him, in fact, she made it very clear that she didn't want anything to do with him. It was for the best.

Though even with him out of her life now, she still has to deal with the consequences of being a middle child.

Raven has three sibling, they are:

Anastasia, who is the oldest, at twenty-six years.

A younger brother, AJ, who is six.

And, the littlest one, Aqueen, at only a year old.

Aqueen is actually the daughter of her mom's boyfriend, Autry Gant.

When Izuku asks about her troubles, she makes sure to tell him everything, without leaving a single thing out. Speaking to him is no different than speaking to the single plushy of him that she owns—she's comfortable telling him the truth, knowing he won't judge her.

"Where's your mom now?"

"Probably hungover in her room."

Yes, her mom is also an alcoholic. If you've never experienced what it's like to live with someone alcoholic—specifically a parent or guardian, you might learn a few things.

Their hug should've been over minutes ago, but the boy can't bring himself to let her go. There they sit, in a peaceful silence, taking in each other's warmth.

The sound of a door slamming closed makes them both jump. Raven quickly gets up and heads for her door. She opens it a crack and hears her mom rummaging around downstairs.

"Raven! Come down and make me breakfast!" She calls. The girl lets out a sigh and then walks out to tend to her mom's hunger.

The boy sits in her room, alone, taking everything she'd just told him, and letting it sink in. With the image of her arm still fresh in his mind, he frowns and grips at his shorts.

"I have to help her...Y/n's life isn't any of my concern anymore. I'm done crying over a lost cause. I'm—" He chokes and breaks down into a silent cry which slowly turns into sad laughter at the thought of what's become of his life. Back in the anime universe, his only worries are villains, but here, in the real world, his problems are far different.

Deep in thought and in the middle of a breakdown there's suddenly a knock at the door.