chapter forty-one

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I ASKED FOR A TOKEN FROM CAIRO when we got back to the Palace

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I ASKED FOR A TOKEN FROM CAIRO when we got back to the Palace. I had prepared a thousand different reasons, but when I finally turned and asked for it, he didn't ask one question.

Bending down, he unfastened a stone tally from his belt, inlaid with a single ruby. "This is my own personal tally," he said. "No one will dare to stop you, wherever you go."

"Don't you need it?"

He smiled softly. "I think my face is recognizable enough."

I didn't have anything to answer to that.

That night, I told Maria to light a candle before she went to bed.

"For what, Miss?" she asked. "You've never been afraid of the dark."

"Light it up just in case," I said. "A tall one."

It was reasonable to presume that I would not be getting a good amount of sleep tonight.

Maria's eyebrows furrowed together, but slowly, she nodded, turning to light a candle and place it on my bedside table.

"Goodnight, Miss," she whispered, "sleep well."

She did not ask any more questions, but it was not until I heard her steady, even breaths did my shoulders finally relax.

I slipped off the bed and wrapped my hands around the candlestick. Though I had made my mind up hours ago, when I turned to walk out the door, I couldn't help but still and shiver.

I looked back at the scarlet drapery on my bed. Maria slept curled up on the foot of it, her shadow like a kneeling statue.

"Pray for me to come back," I whispered. I didn't know who I was telling this to, and inexplicably, I thought of my mother.

One hand held the candle, the other held Cairo's stone tally. Now, as I looked at it closer, I could see that there was an engraving on it -- some sort of creature, but not one that I had ever seen. For a brief moment, I wondered if this was meant to be a bad sculpture of the prince, but dismissed it when I saw what vaguely looked to be wings.

Whatever it was, it did not matter. What mattered is it would allow me to pass.

The amount of guards seemed to increase at night compared to this morning, and I couldn't help but think whether other girls, like me, had attempted to sneak out to see the overall situation. I didn't think Maria to be the most informed of the chamber maids, and I was sure that the others had certainly received a tip.

I just didn't know whether they became restless or stay put.

For the first time, I started to regret the lack of friendships I'd made in my time at the Palace. How long had I stayed here? And yet the only friend that I'd made was Maryam, and she, too, had left. Now, I had no one as a confidante.

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