Elayne Starwind - Padawan of Ashoka

Chapter Nine

I was tired. No, exhausted.

I didn't know why. Was it because I had hardly gotten any sleep lately? Was it because I was using the Force so much? Either way, I begged myself to fall asleep.

But my eyes had other ideas. They just wouldn't stay shut.

Maybe it was the ship's rumbling noises or the creaking of my bed whenever I moved. Either way, I just couldn't fall asleep.

After tossing and turning helplessly, I decided to get up and walk around a bit. Maybe that was all I needed. Just to move my legs around.

I picked myself up and stretched my arms to the side. As I walked forward, I slid my fingers along the frame of the picture of my family. I stared at it a bit until it felt as if my parents' smiles were teasing me and I turned to the door.

I walked down the hall when I heard voices in the distance. I knit my eyebrows and followed the sounds. They were coming from the front of the ship. It wasn't long before I realized the voices were coming from Ahsoka and... Sabine.

I would've walked in if I hadn't heard my name. I hid behind the walls.

"-Elayne," Ahsoka was saying.

"How can I not be upset with her when she was the one who distracted us of our real mission?" Sabine asked. Her voice was shaky. "Her presence in the Force called you to her instead of Ezra. We could've found him sooner if it wasn't for her."

"She didn't choose to be force sensitive, nor did she want distract us," Ahsoka defended. "You know that very well. So why did you attempt to kill her? Even for you, that was a step too far."

"I'm never a step too far," Sabine snapped. "I was doing what I thought was best for the mission. She's just another body on this ship, nothing more, nothing less. What use is that to us if we have a mission?"

Even from afar, I could tell she was crying. Whether it was for Ezra or her regret of trying to kill me, I didn't know, and I probably wouldn't for a long time either.

"How did you feel about Ezra when he first came aboard your ship?" Ahsoka asked. "Did you like him at first?"

"He was a nice guy," Sabine said. I imagined she shrugged. "We got along pretty well."

"Then why can't you do the same for Elayne?" Ahsoka asked. "She never did anything to you."

"She did something to the search," Sabine said. "I wouldn't have minded before, but we can't double task. We need to stay focused. We can't do that when she's around."

Ahsoka sighed. "But you and the Ghost crew made do with Ezra when he came along. Kanan even took him under his wing. Why can't we do the same thing here?"

There was a small silence. Was Sabine actually thinking through Ahsoka's words? Could we really get along?

Then I heard her sniff. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka. But saving Elayne could cost us the opportunity to save Ezra. No offense to her or you, but I would choose Ezra over her."

Then there were footsteps. I panicked and searched for a hiding spot. Why was this ship so empty and clean?

But the footsteps stopped. "Also, are you going to tell Elayne?"

Tell me something? Tell me what?

Ahsoka seemed just as confused, I figured, because she said, "Tell her what?"

"You know what. I heard you talking about it to yourself in your room. Don't pretend you don't remember."

Remember what? What was going on?

Another silence.

I hated silence. That mostly came from the usual bustling of crowds back on Endor at the marketplace. With Ewoks and aliens everywhere, not to mention the shuffling of feet, it was practically impossible to stay completely quiet.

"You heard," Ahsoka said calmly.

Heard what? Ugh, I hated being in the dark!

"You know something about her," Sabine said. "Something about her past, am I right?"

My... Past?

Ahsoka knew something about my past?

And she didn't tell me?

Of course she didn't tell me. She was Ahsoka. She kept secrets and she practically knew everything.

I choked down my sobs before I could be discovered.

"You are right," Ahsoka muttered. "I... I know how her parents died."

"Did you know them personally?" Sabine asked curiously.

"Yes... They were part of the rebel alliance. The one you used to work for," Ahsoka said. "Close friends of mine."

"Do I know them?" Sabine asked.

"No, they mostly worked undercover," Ahsoka replied. "Until the incident."

Incident?

I clutched my fists. Beads of sweat trickled down my forehead. Was it just me or was it getting unusually hot in here?

No. This couldn't be happening. Ahsoka knew all along. She knew all about me. And she decided to keep it a secret.

How could she? How could she lie to me right in the face?

I thought Ahsoka was a good person. I couldn't have been so wrong.

Tears fell down my face and I crumbled into a small ball, wrapping my arms around my legs. I buried my face in between my knees.

No. No. No.

"Elayne! What are you doing here?"

I didn't pick my head up or answer Sabine.

More footsteps. It was Ahsoka.

"Elayne, how much did you hear?" Ahsoka asked and put her hand on my shoulder. I pulled away.

"Enough," Was all I said before I ran back to my room, the weight of betrayal sunk deep in my chest.