Missed Times

Chapter Twelve

"I thought you'd never come back" Michelle says right after she opened her apartment door.

"I need my stuff," I coldly say.

Last night I kept tossing and turning wondering why Michelle made me believe something it wasn't true. I don't understand her intentions and it's really hard for me to trust her now.

"Maya, I'm sorry I overreacted the other day," Michelle says following me to the bedroom that used to be mine. "But you should try to put yourself in my shoes. Suddenly I'm almost a complete stranger to you and it's not easy."

"I know it isn't," I say stopping near the bed and looking at her. "And I'm sure we had a connection or something, but you lied to me."

Michelle widens her eyes completely taken aback by my statement.

"You knew I was trying to get back to Carina," I say, trying to keep a calm voice. "You know what this suitcase was about."

"No, that's not true," Michelle nervously defends herself.

"Benjamin told me, he was there," I squint my eyes at her. "Are you going to tell me the truth now?"

"I didn't know about the suitcase," Michelle says firmly. "The night you said you wanted to ask Carina to forgive you we had a fight, I was hurt and probably said some things I shouldn't have, but we were drinking and the next day you went to work like any other day. So I assumed it was just the alcohol talking."

"What about when I came back from work? I must've told you something about it." I say looking intently at her, I don't know if she's telling the truth or not.

"You didn't," Michelle sighs. "I thought you were still mad at me for what I said and I was giving you space, then the accident happened and while I was by your side you squeeze my hand and said I love you."

Michelle is trying to hold back her tears, she looks up and takes a deep breath.

"I thought we had something special," Michelle says defeated. "I helped you through so many things, we spend so much time together, you cared about me and my family."

I sit on the edge of the bed while I take in what she's saying. I probably cared about her, but still that doesn't mean we were in a relationship. I'm starting to think I never made it clear to her that we weren't.

"Michelle, I'm sorry if I misled you, I'm sorry I made you believe we were together," I say looking up at her. "I don't know if we ever talked about what we were doing and I'm sorry if I never made that clear to you."

"So you're saying it was all in my head?" Michelle asks offended. "Maya, we slept together multiple times, we live together."

"I'm sorry, but to me that's not a relationship,"  I say confidently. "I shared an apartment with you, and yeah, I guess we had sex but that's it."

"Maya, I love you," Michelle takes a step towards me and bends on her knees to look me in the eyes. "I've been there for you the whole time, when you were at your worst I was there."

"I know," I lower my head. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, but I don't feel the same about you."

"You just don't remember," Michelle softly says. "I'm sure if you..."

"I've made my mind before the accident," I say shaking my head. "You deserve to be with someone that appreciates you for everything that you are, you deserve so much better than I was giving you."

Michelle stands up, I can see the hurt in her eyes and it's a really hard pill to swallow, but I can't do this to her, I meant every word I said, she deserves better. I walk to the suitcase that's still on the floor, I start rearranging the clothes so I can close it properly.