Michael and I

It's Okay To Be Easily Ignored

TW: Implied violence, panic attack, self-neglect, self-harm

Tommy's hands trembled with what seemed to be the weight of the world in them. He raised his gun. The shiny weapon shined in the sunlight. It seemed as if the deadly weapon was mocking him with how it shined so bright despite being the object that was about to end a person's life. Well, what once was a person's life.

Tommy stared into the eyes of the creature they had rotting grey skin that seemed on the verge of just blowing away and eyes corrupted by madness. Their blue veins bulged out of their skin and their teeth were stained with the color of blood. Could they even be considered a human anymore?

Tommy wondered what the person was like when they were alive. Did they have a family or friends that they could never return to? Did they have a life before it was taken away from them? Were they just a kid like Tommy?

Tommy pulled the trigger.

________________________________________

He woke up with a gasp drenched in what seemed to be his own sweat. Shit, did he fall asleep? Tommy rushed over to the entrance of the cave only to sigh in relief that it was still dark outside. Thank god Tommy doesn't know what he would do with himself if he fell asleep longer than he did. He needed to stay awake to keep both Michael and himself safe. Protecting Michael is his only job and yet he can't seem to even do that right. For all, he knows a zombie could have snuck in, or he could have found them.

Burning hot anger rushed in Tommy's veins as he punched the wall of the cave to his left. The hard rock wall caused his knuckles to split open on impact, crimson red blood began to flow down his hand like a river but he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to even feel the pain. What if Michael got hurt because of Tommy's inability to do something as simple as staying awake for a few hours? He doesn't know if he would be able to live with himself if that happened. He has to do better, no, he needs to do better.

Tommy's hands lifted up into his hair as subconsciously pulled on the golden locks. His breaths turned small and short as his thoughts became faster and faster, unable to ground himself Tommy found himself spiraling through scenarios in his head where Michael always died and he was always the villain.

Tommy was too stuck in his thoughts to even hear the light footsteps coming from behind him until it was too late. He turned around to find Michael staring at him. All Tommy could do was look at Michael in horror. Michael was going to hate him now and there was nothing he could do about it? But when Tommy finally really looked at Michael his face wasn't mad, disgusted, or even scared he just looked sad which was somehow even worse. Tommy's heart broke as he was thrown back into the present. Like a switch was flipped Tommy quickly rushed over to Michael's side to make sure he was okay.

Tommy crouched down to Michael's height before finally speaking, "Are you okay bud?" he asked with a patient smile plastered on his face as he gently cupped Michael's cheek with his hand that wasn't bleeding, "You're up pretty late huh," he tried not to focus on how his voice broke while he spoke

Michael looked at him for a second before he wrapped his arms around Tommy. Tommy was quiet for a second surprised by the sudden gesture before he lightly hugged the kid back. They stayed in that position for a minute and if Tommy cried that was something only he would know.