You're My Jackass

Chapter 1

Setting:
June 28th, 2001. West Chester, Pennsylvania.
(Lizzy is the nickname that Elizabeth Summers always goes by.)

Lizzy was suddenly woken up by the sound of her alarm. She scrunched her eyes, flailed out her right arm, and tried hitting the alarm clock several times before it finally shut up. She slowly moved her hands up to her face and rubbed her eyes open while she dug out the crust. She looked over to her alarm clock to check the time, it read "12:32 PM." She had to be at the Margera's home by 1:00 PM sharp, she didn't wanna miss her meet-up with Jeff Tremaine for her possible upcoming role in the official Jackass movie.

Lizzy had been friends with Ryan Dunn for a good 7 years now. They met in high school, Dunn was a junior, and Lizzy, a senior. They quickly became friends over their love for underage drinking and having fun. They have always been platonic friends, they once kissed just to see what it would be like, but both stated that they felt nothing from the kiss and now they reminisce and laugh about it. Dunn introduced Lizzy to his close friend, Bam Margera. Lizzy and Bam have been friends for 6 years and they bonded over skateboarding, obviously. After the Jackass show had ended and the idea of a movie was being tossed around, Dunn had convinced Lizzy to join the Jackass crew. This meet-up with Jeff Tremaine will make her officially, a member of Jackass.

"Holy fuck, I'm gonna be late!" yelled Lizzy to herself with wide eyes. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. She quickly peed, flushed, then stood in front of the mirror to see what she had to work with in the such little time she had. She ran her fingers through her hair to see if it was greasy or not, and thank god, it wasn't. She brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth, then grabbed a makeup wipe and cleaned up the smeared mascara from under her eyes. She threw off her pajamas into the floor, stripping completely naked. She then entirely dumped out her unsorted laundry basket and grabbed clean underwear, a bra, socks, a tank top, and high-waisted, baggy jeans. She quickly dressed herself up and grabbed her purse, car keys, and shoes. She ran into the bathroom to look at the mirror one last time before she ran out the door. She looked herself up and down to see if her appearance was "sufficient enough" for the day. Her purse contained a debit card, her driver's license, pepper spray, real cash, deodorant, concealer, and tampons. She ran to her car, started it, and began to attempt to do the rest of her makeup while driving. (Which I don't advise you do unless you have lots of driving experience.) She swerved off the road and almost hit a trash can, receiving an inaudible yell and a flip off from a pedestrian. The clock on the radio of her crappy car read "12:47 AM" "Jesus, fuck!" she yelled in anger.

Five minutes of driving later, she pulled into Bam Margera's driveway, got out of the car, and slammed the door shut. She bent over to fix her mascara smudges in the side mirror of her car when she felt a hard smack to her ass. She quickly turned around in surprise to see Bam holding his gut while laughing hysterically at her expression. "Bam, you asswipe! You scared the shit out of me!" yelled Lizzy as she shoved his shoulder to push him back. "What were you even doing so close to that dirty mirror? Trying to eat the flies?" Bam asked with his face red from laughing. "Fixing my makeup, jerk-off." She said while smiling and rolling her eyes at him. She quickly darted her attention to Ryan Dunn, who was behind Bam, smiling with his finger held up to his lip, as to tell her to not say anything or make it obvious that he was about to pull a prank on Bam. Ryan bent down and forcefully pantsed Bam, bringing his jeans down around his ankles. "YOU ASSHOLE!" yelled Bam as his face turned red. Bam quickly pulled his pants back up and fiddled with his belt while Lizzy and Ryan were on the dirty pavement laughing their asses off. "No you didn't Dunn! Oh my god!" laughed Lizzy as she found it hard to breathe from laughing on her hands and knees. Ryan quickly collected himself and stopped laughing as he saw that Bam was flustered and mad. "Come on man, lighten up!" said Ryan with a big grin. "You're gonna pay for that, sometime later today." said Bam as his face turned back to it's original color. Lizzy got back up and dusted off the debris from her clothes. "Hey is Jeff here yet?" She asked as she nervously cracked her fingers. "Yeah, he's inside." replied Bam as he untucked his shirt from his pants. Ryan noticed her nervous behavior and placed his hand on her upper arm. "You don't gotta be nervous, Liz. Jeff is just like us, he's a fun guy to be around. We already told him all about you and he thinks you'll be a great addition to the Jackass crew." Lizzy looked back up at Dunn and smiled, "Thanks Dunn." "No problem" he said as he patted her on the back and led her to the front door of the house. Bam followed behind and kicked Dunn in the back of the leg to trip him. "I deserve that." said Dunn as he smiled. "Expect worse later." replied Bam as he patted Ryan on the shoulder.