Alone again

My boyfriend just broke up with me, I'm sitting in my empty house wondering what he's doing and if he's thinking about me as well my mum is at work she works in Woolworths . You probably don't know what that is it's a supermarket in Australia anyways. Ever since he broke up with me I've sort of missed him but not enough to beg for him back and cry about him, but enough that when someone mentions something I'm like "oh he would like that" I always catch him staring at me I don't know if it's because he still likes me or because he thinks I'm ugly. I kinda wish we were still together and I know why im not over him yet, it's simply because he just has such pretty eyes they are blue with a hint of green almost like a mint but more blue. He makes me feel good well I should say made me feel good, there was once since we go to the same school once we were sitting waiting for our teacher to pick us up to go back to class he was talking to the person next to me we'll call her eden. Eden was talking to him and I looked at him we locked eyes I was stupid to look away but I did anyways I can still picture his beautiful eyes in the sun it was like staring at the ocean. I still call him my boyfriend and then I have to switch back to ex boyfriend I honestly think I still like him but I don't know I know I miss him . I'm pretty sure he has a boyfriend now I'll call the boyfriend Sam. I don't really have any feelings towards Sam I know that he definitely doesn't like me.

I am now feeling like I hate him but how could I ?! He's so perfect so handsome I can't believe he dated Me i went from being the most loved girl to the bratty slut no one likes. I love him but I hate him and I don't know how I feel about that. I miss him but I don't want to and I don't know how I feel about that. I wanna run up to him and kiss him but I want to run up to him and hit him I don't know how I feel about that. I dream about him at night and then I wake up missing him and I don't know how to feel about that. I have mixed emotions but I know for a fact he won't date me again. I can't wait to leave the same school he's in.