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You knew it was a bad idea to anticipate your run ins with the mysterious man at the bar from the start. Did that stop you from going? No. Did it stop you from forming a weird functioning friendship? Nope. Did it stop you from developing an unlikely crush? Not a single bit. You knew it was a bad idea, and now you're caught up in this whole mess. But do you regret it at all? That has yet to be decided.
Let's rewind, shall we?
When Jake texted you saying he needed to talk, you immediately knew something was wrong. The same man who you exchanged playful banter and got drinks with, who often showed up with plenty of bruises and cuts, and who never gave any public display of emotion. It was easy to put two and two together.
So you ended up in your usual seat at the bar counter, eyes anxiously watching the door as you dipped on your soft drink. You'd usually order something alcoholic for the both of you, but you had a feeling you needed sobriety on your side for this one.
When you saw the taxi cab pull up to the curb, you put up a calm facade and gave him your usual grin when he walked through the doors. He made his way straight over, sitting on the stool next to you and waving over the bartender.
"The usual?" The man behind the counter asked.
Jake shook his head, "Stronger. Much stronger."
It was quiet as the drink was quickly made. Slid onto the counter, Jake gave him a twenty and proceeded to down half the drink.
You studied him with eyebrows raised, taking a sip of your own drink through the straw. "Rough day?" Jake nodded, staring down into his glass. Taking the road less traveled by, you asked, "Want to talk about it?"
He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm gonna be going away for awhile."
"Oh." The frown on your face was obvious, "For how long?"
"I don't know." He replied, finally looking up at you. He stared into your eyes for a moment, seemingly debating something. "I'm gonna tell you something, I need you to keep it to yourself, alright?"
Wary, yet curious, you nodded. "You're not a murderer, are you?" You joked. Jake did not smile. It was then he explained his understanding of his situation with Marc Spector, his alter.
"He doesn't know I exist." Jake went on, taking another sip of his drink. "He just thinks that he has a sleeping disorder. And this has worked, cause it lets him hang out and be sappy with his girlfriend during the day, and it lets me come see you here at night."
You would've melted at the fact he spent most of his time fronting coming to see you, but you were more centered on the fact his alter had a girlfriend. "Marc has a girlfriend? Dude, as much as I enjoy being your drinking buddy, what the fuck would happen if she found out?"
He shook his head, "She won't, I've made sure of it. I've been doing this shit long before we met."
It went silent as you both tried to figure out what to say. That voice in the back of your head told you to be straight up and tell him. He said he's leaving for awhile anyways.
"You jeopardize all of this, to come see me anyways?" You asked, hoping that he'd give you some of the bits and pieces of himself you've been trying to grasp for months.
A smirk threatened to make its way onto his face, that flirty look flashing in his eyes. But something in his voice told you his words were genuine. "I would've crossed the ocean to see that smile."
And of course you couldn't help but smile after a comment like that. It felt like some pieces of the puzzle had started to come together, yet it was bittersweet.
"So what's changed?" You asked, "Why are you going away?"
His face fell at the question and he let out a sarcastic laugh. "They're getting married." He ran a hand through his hair. "Going to the bar when I'm fronting for a few drinks? That's easy when they don't see each other every day. But now that they're gonna be living together?"
You nodded, "Yeah, that's- that'd be difficult."
He hummed, "I've never talked to this guy, but it's like he's my brother in a way. I can't do that to him."
After all this information settled into your brain, it became more clear that this wasn't a 'see you later' conversation.
"I'm never gonna see you again." You stated.
"I wish I could say no, but unless something crazy happens and they get divorced or some shit, then...yeah," He gave you a remorseful look, "You're never gonna see me again."
More silence. The guy you liked has a separate identity that was engaged. And he can't talk to you anymore.
"I feel like I'm leaving you all alone," You mumbled.
He shrugged, "I'll get used to it." He gulped the rest of his drink in one go, "You know, that's how it was before I met you. I couldn't really go out and go places, make friends, get a good job or anything like that. Then one fateful night I was so upset about it, I walked in here for a drink and met you."
You smiles a little at the sentiment. "Well, why don't we go out with a bang then." You waved down the bartender again and ordered a round of shots, clinking and downing them together.
Jake walked you home to your apartment like he had done a hundred times before, and you even let him escort you right up to your front door. You talked about random, senseless things like you usually did, the same laughter and smiles the whole way there.
Turning to him in the hall, he stared back at you with an unreadable look on his face. Leaning against your shoulder against the front door, you spoke, "So, this is it."
"This is it." He repeated, taking in every detail of you before he disappeared from your life. He looked like he was holding back.
Making a bold move, you gave him a sly smile, "Am I gonna get a kiss goodbye?"
That boyish grin appeared on his face and he closed the distance, one hand on your waist to pull you in while the other cupped your face. He kissed like he was starving and you were the only thing that could help, the lingering taste of alcohol making your senses feel numb to everything else. Nothing else mattered but this moment, these last few minutes together before he went away for good.
Pulling away, he still held you close as he looked into your eyes, thumb tracing the outline of your lower lip. He dove in for one last quick kiss before stepping away completely.
Starting to back away down the hall, he shot you one more playful smile, "Don't you miss me too much, gorgeous."
