Carl Grimes imagines

Messed up❤️‍🩹

Trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault and abuse
You're basically super close to Carl, almost like siblings and Rick has also become like a dad to you.

Almost since the very beginning you've been with Rick and his crew. In that time you grew very close to Rick's son, Carl. You're only a year and a half older than him, it was his idea to get you help when they all found you. You were in really bad condition but you never talked about what happened in the first few months of the world going shitty before Rick's group found you. You've now been with them for a few years and they learned to not try and ask you about it, they just accepted that you'll never talk about it. You often have mini mental break downs over it but there's bigger things to worry about so they never usually last long. When you guys first entered Alexandria, you finally got to feel safe, safe enough anyways.

Because you guys were no longer out there fighting everyday you finally had time to take a breather but unfortunately it gave you more time with your thoughts. Thoughts about what had happened in the first few months of the world dying. Your mini mental break down turned into a big mental break down, it was getting harder to breathe. Tears streamed down your face and you tried so hard to stop all of the flashbacks. Rick and Carl walk in, you didn't go with them when they left because you wanted to stay back with Judith. They rush to your side and try calming you down.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Hey, what's wrong kid?" Rick calmly asked.

Carl didn't say anything to you, he just sat beside you with his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm not talking about it, I need a few minutes to calm down please." You tell Rick.

"Okay we'll sit right here just to make sure you're fine but you're gonna need to talk about this" Rick said.

You're breathing still shaky, you opened your mouth "okay okay"

Rick put his hand on your back and helped fix your posture, "okay we're gonna breathe together just to get that back on track. Breathe with me." And you guys took deep breaths together. Judith started crying so Rick attended to her real quick. You're breathing was back on track finally. Carl looked at you and you shifted your attention to him. He looked concerned but it was understandable considering you just had a bigger mental break down than usual.

"Carl, I'm good now I promise." You assured him.

"I know, I was just worried because it's never usually that bad." Carl said. "Why was it worse? Did something happen?"

"No nothing happened I just have to much time with my own thoughts now." You told him.

Rick comes back down "Wanna talk about it now?"

"I don't know if I can. I'm sorry I just don't know if I can." You said.

Carl spoke up "You need to talk about it to someone, doesn't even have to be us. Please Y/n..."

"Rick?" You said and he raised his eyebrows, "since you insist on me talking about it can I speak to Carl about it?.... Alone." He nodded.

"It's not that I don't trust you enough to hear it, it's just that I wanna start with one per-" Rick cut you off.

"No I get it, you don't have to explain. You're talking to someone and that's all that matters." Rick walks off out of ear shot and you focus on your lap.

"Y/n, you don't have to do this." Carl said "it doesn't seem like you're ready."

You sniffled and looked at him. He held his arms out to see if you'd hug him and you did. You let go and wiped your eyes "No you guys are right, I do have to tell someone. And who better to tell than my awesome little brother." You smile a little to lighten the mood. He just hugs you again, which made it a little more comfortable.

"Whenever you're ready, you can tell me about it." He spoke softly.

"So um," tears well in your eyes and Carl laid his head on your shoulder ready to listen. You had a hard time getting any words out but he waited patiently.

"The first few months of all this stuff going on, I wasn't on my own. I was being held by a small group of men, I didn't know who they were. There were 6 of them." Your hands start shaking and your voice grew shaky "I wasn't kept in a shitty room or basement but like a bedroom, it was a normal bedroom and it was clean but there were no windows." You pause "I'm sorry, it just..."

"It's okay, just take your time. I'm not going anywhere." Carl said.

"Okay..." you breathe. "Anyways, I was locked in there. I was fed but they um.... they raped me. They didn't really hit me and they tried convincing me I'd like it and I didn't. I don't know what I did to deserve that but apparently I did." You started sobbing.

"I'm sorry I didn't know it was that bad. You were only a kid, you didn't do anything wrong. It was NOT your fault. I wish we found you sooner..." Carl gripped you so much tighter.

"It happened everyday. Sometimes I think it would've been better if they killed me, god knows I wanted to be dead."

"I'm glad you're not, you've become a big part of my life and I'm happy you survived. I don't know what I'd do if you died or we lost you. Thanks for telling me, I won't say anything to anyone."

You grip onto him as tight as you can and silently cry, "you're such a good brother, I love you Carl. I wouldn't even be alive if you didn't help me."

He smiled at you, he cried with you. He always knew you went through a lot, they all knew but you carried yourself pretty well for the last few years and he always looked up to you for it. It just hurt him knowing that you had to be hurt in that way before you were even 15, you were just a kid and still developing. It felt like the world lifted off your shoulders because for the first time you finally trusted someone enough with your trauma. You sat and cried together but it was kind of a cry of relief. Rick came back soon after and asked how it went and you nodded. He didn't know still but he knew it was hard for you so he sat on the other side of you and hugged as Carl was still clinging onto you from the other side.

Carl looked at you, you whispered in his ear "I want him to know to but I don't know if I can talk about it again, can you tell him for me?" You asked, Carl nodded and brought his attention to Rick.

"I need to talk to you dad" Rick got up and handed Judith to you and they walked outside.

They were there for about 10 minutes and when they walked back in Rick's eyes were red like he had been crying. He rushed back to you and squeezed you "I'm so sorry Y/n. I'm so so sorry. You will NEVER be hurt like that as long as we're alive. You've become my kid in these past few years and I'll continue protecting you like so. I promise I'll protect you, I promise." He starts crying like Carl did and just sobs but he's happy he knows now.

After that both Carl and Rick kept quiet about it and never told anyone else. Other people still wondered but you seemed a little better after that so they weren't so worried about you talking about it much anymore. You finally felt relief and you felt almost completely safe.

Hope you guys enjoyed it, I thought it was a sad but nice imagine. I don't see many good many good Carl sibling imagines so figured I'd make on :)