"I'm in the darkness because that's how I feel, all the time. Even when the sun is shining above me so brightly I have to squint, it all still feels so dark. Shadows surround me and suffocate me while I let them because I don't know how to find the light."
A tear slips down my cheek.
"So, we need a source of light to brighten up this gloom," the man says, and I can hear in his voice that he's urging me to think about what he's saying. He's trying to help me - trying to guide me.
"The candle won't light unless you provide the spark," I say to myself, frowning slightly. "Light cannot exist here unless I provide the spark."
"Yes," the man says.
"This darkness isn't just a dark room where I can flip a switch and flood the place with light," I continue, shaking my head to myself. "Because this darkness is me. It's a part of me, so to get rid of the darkness, I need that spark to shine within myself."
"How would you do that?" he asks.
"It's easy to let the darkness in," I whisper. "It's easy to let go and fall into that void, no longer caring where I end up within it. Keeping my light alive - keeping my hope alive - is almost impossible sometimes. Like I said, it's easy to just give up and live in the dark. To ignite that spark within myself - to get rid of the darkness surrounding us - I need to ignite my hope."
Hope is a word I have long abandoned. Time after time of my hopes being crushed, I decided I couldn't take the pain of my flame being extinguished again. So, I let it stay unlit. I let myself fall into in the dark.
"Hope is something more powerful than you realize," the man says. "Even when you are dangling on the edge of your sanity, if you have hope, you have something to keep your grip on. If you have hope, you see the light."
"And if I can see the light, I can move forward," I say, smiling to myself.
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Black Swan | BTS ✓
Fanfiction"Seems like time has stopped. Oh that would be my first death I been always afraid of." A journey of self-discovery.
