Do you believe in wishes?
Once you say something to the Universe out loud, it will grant your wish. I have believe in that ever since I was a child. I would wish everything to the moon my desire but sometimes I would just hangout, sit quietly and stare at it. But I am not a child anymore. Adults I'm one of them now, and as an adult, I have to make my own living to survive.
It's impossible.
Sometimes I wonder... How long would it take me to finally reach my limit? Because I think Life doesn't give you what you want, if you refuse to surrender yourself first___ we are all writing our own story, and for us to fill that blank page, we must seek out to find adventure.
But I'm exhausted for now.
I sip the last drop of wine from my hand, as I watch the serene moon above the sky, with the sea of stars__ It stares back at me. But it didn't break my gaze.
I watch it, examine its full shape, and its bright colors of gray and white harmonzing; wondering how beautiful it would look like at the sea. It's light will brush softly on the water when it reflects. But all I could see for now is the different lights from this city. the city is still asleep, but I spend my whole sleepless night at the roofttop of my apartment building. After a whole day of trying_ and keep give up but with a glass of wine as my comfort, and my best friend___ the moon, it's telling me the words I want to hear. "It's okay." "It's Fine." you're an amazing person." "Hang in there. Kei."
I think I'm going crazy.
I stood on my feet and took a second to look at my wrist for the time. It's already 3am in the morning, but it didn't surprise me.
sometimes I would stay up here until 6am in the morning then leave at 10am to work but surprisingly I'm still alive.
I roll my shoulders and stretch out my limbs to wake up my whole body that is obviously desperate for a rest, yet I didn't give it what it wanted. Instead I fill my blood with a glass full of wine, and spend hours staring at the moon, like I'm letting it suck my soul out of my body.
I spent the whole day job hunting. I also tried to attend open job interviews hoping to get the job after I exit the building. But I didn't.
I can't.
They would say that I am not fit for the job because I don't have enough experience, or I am not the one They're looking for, or they would call me back__ but I know they won't
I applied for four jobs today, three of them rejected me, the other one said they will call me back.
I hope so, the hiring manager took a whole good look at my appearance this morning__ from head to toe__ that made me conscious of myself and my style. then they told me that they will get back at me, unfortunately the boss was too busy for interviews
I took my leave and waited for my phone to
ring. but it didn't
It made me lose my confidence.
If only I could go back to the company and ask the hiring manager, perhaps they just forgot to ring my number. sounds really desperate huh?
I am a jobless woman who has big dreams in her life. I hoped for bread but they gave my flour__ only flour. No water. No salt. Not anything.
