Illicit Affairs (LMM x Reader)

Thirteen: Colder By The Minute

"He loves me, he loves me not..."

Lin's smile. A bed of roses. Calm and quiet and beautiful, a world far from the one we know...

Another goddamn dream. Another morning waking up alone, cold and dark and so painfully quiet...

But I'm wide awake and there's nothing else I can do. I snuggle into my duvet and try to go back to sleep but it's futile; it's been a couple of days since Lin was here last before he had to fly to LA again, but his comforting scent still lingers on my sheets. I bury my face in one of the pillows, flooding my senses with that wretchedly addictive cologne he wears.

Feeling restless, I roll over and check the time on my phone. It's 6am: far too early to function, but I see no benefit in wasting my time now that I'm up, acutely aware of the wall clock ticking above my bedroom door. I roll my eyes at the thought; thanks for that one, Lin.

So instead I unlock my phone, finding a few snaps my friends sent last night - I'd politely declined their invitation, choosing instead to actually get some sleep, but they seemingly ended up going out to a club anyway. I hit them back with likes and happy emojis. I scroll further through my notifications, only to realize going to sleep early meant I'd also missed a few texts from Lin last night, owing to the time difference.

2:31AM - Lin: Are you fucking kidding me?
2:31AM - Lin: IMAGE
2:32AM - Lin: Collars and turtlenecks for the whole promo tour cause this makeup team took one look at your damage and wouldn't stop laughing at me. Hope you're happy 🤣

He's sent a selfie, in that evil charcoal sweater with the flecks of grey that he knows makes me mad. When did he even take that stupid sweater back after I stole it from him? His hair is styled back, they've clearly put some sort of concealer under his eyes and putting it simply, he looks gorgeous. Tired, but gorgeous nevertheless. I stare at his lips, curved into a subtle smirk in the photo, and contemplate FaceTiming him straight away - until I realize it's only 3am on the opposite coast, so I text him back instead with a rather smug reply.

6:04AM - Me: I'm thrilled lol. Anyway, you look delicious... 🤤

6:25AM - Lin: IMAGE

This time he's sent a close-up shirtless selfie, lying in bed, bottom lip between his teeth, showing off all the marks I proudly left on his neck before he left. I laugh to myself and save the picture, taking a deep breath before I reply back, wondering why he's still up at this hour.

6:26AM - Me: hehe. all MINE
6:26AM - Me: LIN THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. 🔥🔥🔥💦💦💦

6:27AM - Lin: Shh, it's too early. Save me something for later darlin...

6:28AM - Me: Not fucking fair. 🤬 wtf are you doing awake anyway?

6:29AM - Lin: Get used to it 😘 lol, had a few drinks at a post-premiere thing. Gonna sleep now... Gnight baby :)

6:30AM - Me: Night, L. Call me when you're up <3

He says nothing after that - I presume he's already asleep. I pull up the photo again - and now that I'm thinking about that, there's no way I'm getting back to sleep...

~

Despite it being the dead of winter, I still try to stay in good habits and regularly go running. After all, I need to take better care of my health, and it's an especially useful distraction when a certain someone is off jet-setting between movie premieres on the opposite coast.

It's a cloudy morning, the weather providing adequate pathetic fallacy to my present feelings: grey skies, numbing cold, somewhat desolate and... alone. Nevertheless, I drag myself out of bed, pull on my running gear and hit the road.