an ending with Lawrence

thoughts of lost minds

Mc: (Ever since Lawrence went to the safe zone I've felt lonely, but to think that Lawrence... Recently when I was looking out the second-floor window I saw Ethan or well what's left of him, I couldn't help it relieved to see him alive. i knew he was nothing more than a zombie, a being that is neither alive nor dead, but he still had faith that there would be a cure to save him soon. Still, he knew that if Lawrence saw him he would kill him, So I decided to do nothing. I mean what could I do? If somehow get close to him, will he kill me or turn me into a zombie like him, I just prayed that Lawrence would never see him.

Every day was the same, I barely managed in the most discouraging way and with less desire to live every second, get out of bed, and eat whatever I didn't have to cook, eating ramen noodles, raw, had become a habit. Once every two days I went up to the roof to take care of the plants, I knew that even if I managed to make them grow well I would never taste them, or at least I hoped that I only did it so as not to go crazy without doing anything or talking to anyone.

I didn't want to accept it under any circumstances, but deep down I knew, that if Lawrence didn't come back, I would die, not because I can't take care of myself, but because I could bear to lose the only person I have left in this world. Without Lawrence I won't live, these thoughts would kill me, they run through my mind" what do I do if he doesn't come back "I just denied it, but I knew the answer, I knew the answer immediately the moment crossed the schoolyard.

A month passed and Lawrence did not come back, I was worried, I thought he had died, I considered running away from school to look for him, but he told me not to go out unless 2 months had passed. I still got out of school, it wasn't easy, I made it, I had no intention of dropping out, I think I just wanted to avoid going crazy, doing nothing but watering plants. It was difficult not to go into despair, I was already bored, I just went out to look for something to do or feel deep down, I just wanted to feel that I could die at any moment.

There was nothing around the school anymore, it wasn't worth looking any further.

I only went out and maybe I just did it to feel that I was alive, even when the zombies approached me and I realized that I was hiding, that I was doing everything possible to survive. I realized that I wanted to live deep inside of me, even unconsciously, would I be able to kill myself even knowing that this was my fault, that the death of all my companions was nothing but my fault?

I didn't want to die, you could call me a coward and maybe you'd be right, I shouldn't be alive or trying to stay alive, still, I can't help wanting to be alive. Even if I'm going to have to have death breathing down my neck for the rest of my life, I'm going to survive.

At this point I just want to survive, the only thing waiting for me to do is stay in this Castle that he built, for me, I will stay here waiting, like the princess who only hopes that her prince will rescue her. I'm not useless either, I try to do things, but every day that passes I feel more alone, I feel that madness irremediably takes over my being.)

2 months passed slowly and quickly slow for MC and fast for Lawrence

He was working with the army trying to develop strategies against the zombies, so the entire infected population near the safe zone was eliminated without major complications, earning the respect of the general and several ministers. Due to his age, they did not formally give him very important positions, but if he carried out actions that would correspond to a high command without complaining, getting a small apartment in just 2 months in the only area that was habitable in the city.

Lawrence: (no matter where I am, people are the same everywhere, idiots, sometimes I wonder what makes others so different from me? Why do they seem such idiots in comparison? They get so carried away by her emotions, I didn't understand it until I met her, from my reaction you could say that from the view of others I am much more impulsive and sentimental than others, most of the time it's like I don't have emotions, but when I did I protested in the most violent way possible.

Considering that I can understand that my love can be dangerous, what can I do if I love more intensely than others? It's also not like I wanted to kill them from the beginning, it's just that they were a constant obstacle to being with her, stealing her attention, kindness, and love from her.

I remember how I look at idiot Ethan with a different affection and worst of all, much more intense than the one you had for me. The others were just brats that would waste the air around you, he had to eliminate them.

I don't regret what I did, but I would like to know if I hadn't done everything I did.

Would you love me more? Your actions show me submission to me, not love, I want her love from her, I want her to love me like I do, that she wants me as I wanted her. She that she dreams of me like she does every night, I want her to be her dreams, not her nightmares. I would do whatever it takes to make you forget them and only remember me, if I could turn back time I would have killed them before you knew them and I would go for you, so he would love me the same way if he had known you were alive...

Time is cruel and does not stop or go back for a second, I can only move forward and pave our way. To prevent others from getting in the way again, I will make our future so bright that it overshadows what you consider to be bad memories.

Getting a high position with my intelligence was easy, but it took time me now I'll just go for you, it's not long before our bright future begins)