i truly am a soup and salad girl at heart
all i wish to consume is salads, soups, summer rolls, matcha lattes and hibiscus tea
i could probably live of those things alone if i add a table spoon of peanut butter to my diet every few days
maybe an egg or two on the weekends
lately i've been feeling a very unique sensation
physically im very numb
but im also super angry
at marie
and her stupid honda civic
i don't know why i felt like a whirlwind of and on relationship spaning from late march to mid may with a girl who just left her long time boyfriend would even work out
i don't think they even actually broke up
because when she left me she told me that he had proposed and that she was going back to him
he deserves better than her that i know
but i don't think that i do
i don't have a job
im a uni drop out
i rot in my room all day
what could i offer a lover honestly
other than complete and utter unconditional love and support and never wavering loyalty
i love too much
i fall in love too fast and i stay in love too long
i fall in love too deep i get lost in it
loving someone is my favourite pass time
i love the falling part
learning everything you can about someone
when there's nothing else to learn it stops being fun for me
it becomes like a job that i have to do and i have to do right
it's something i can never do right
loving someone
i do love
but i over love until it's suffocating
i love until they have no choice but to leave me
i used to loose my mind when someone left me
i would beg and harass them relentlessly
this is the first time people have left me where i let it me
i didn't sent them a hundred texts
i didn't frantically search for a social media account they forgot to block me on
i didn't fire up my sock accounts to stalk them
i just let them leave
see i think that's evolution
for me anyway
it still hurts but im not gonna make it worse by thinking of everywhere i went wrong what i could have and should have done better
what will be will be
and that's what i need to think
i can love from a distance
and i can forgive and forget without closure and one last conversation
i don't need to apologise for what i did
it can just be done
