He Knows This Feeling All Too Well

Mendel knows what having a crush does to his emotions.

He knows the utter joy and wanting and wishing that comes from such a thing. He knows the feelings of fuzziness and warmth that arise from it. He knows the feelings of nausea and nervousness that come from it too. The feelings of a crush… He knows them like no other.

Mendel knows what having a crush makes his body feel.

He knows the way his head hurts when he thinks about her. He knows the way his stomach twists when trying to gain the courage to talk to her. He knows the way his heart beats out of his chest when she laughs or smiles in his direction. He knows the way he feels all warm and nice when she touches him.

Mendel knows what having a crush does to his friends.

His friends always tease him about her. His friends always laugh at him when he gets nervous around her. His friends always point and snicker as she walks by. His friends never respect his feelings towards her until, per usual, he gets utterly rejected and forever ignored by this girl.

Mendel knows what having a crush does to his family.

His little sister always teases him. She always makes jokes about the girl, joking about how they're dating and referring to them as boyfriend and girlfriend when making fun of him. It annoys him quite a bit. His mother wants the best for him. She wants him to find a nice Jewish girl who can love him and take care of him like she does for his father. She wants her son to find someone who will treat him like a king while he also treats her like a queen. His father just hopes he won't get rejected again. He knows how much his son hurts when he gets rejected, locking himself in his room for days at a time when a girl turns him down. His father just wants the best for his son.

Mendel knows this feeling all too well, but with her, it feels different.

With her he feels like he could do anything. Fly, touch the stars, you name it. With her he feels whole, like he can ignore everything that hurts him about having a crush on her. All the teasing and bullying for having a crush on a girl that's out of his league, gone. The way his sadness and anger leaves when talking to her, it makes him euphoric.

He wants this time to be different, for this girl to be the one that finally accepts his confession and be the one who becomes his girlfriend. He wants her to feel the same way about him, yearning for him, wanting to hold him, as much as he yearns for her and wants to hold her too.

But he knows this feeling all too well, and he knows it won't turn out the way he wants it too.

Because she's just another crush.

Just another girl.

Another girl who happens to be out of his league, and will never say yes to him.

He really does know the feeling of rejection and hurt that's going to come from his confession to this girl. He never expects anything less, never any "I like you too" never any "I feel the same" just "No" he wishes he could be what she wanted and finally have his way in his love life, but she was just a crush, just another girl.

"Trina" continuously echoed in his mind but…

He knows this feeling all too well.