hawk ( eli) x y/n

secrets

Y/n's pov

Eli threw me over his shoulder

" miguel where is the spare room" he demanded

" down the-"

He started to run down the hallway into a small room at the end

" THANKS MIGUEL!"

Hawk chucked  me on the bed and cuddled up next to me so his head was on my stomach as I laid down

" what are we doing here?" I chuckled

" cuddling,  duh" he replied " can I play with your hair pleasseee "

" ok" he started to scootch up to my head and fiddled with my h/c hair

As he did so I started to feel exhausted   , I shut my eyes

" wake up~" dammit  eli! " I wanna tell you a secret "

" what is it? " I chuckled

" you remember that time were I broke demetri's science project? " I nodded " it's because I was jealous you were talking to him and not me "

" pfft why? Demetri is a great guy , but , he's a bit to nerdy and scrawny for me to be honest " he looked down at me and placed a kiss on my cheek

" now you tell me a secret "

" but ellliiiii there is to many ! " I whined into his shoulder " let me  think ..... Oh! I had a crush on my maths teacher in year six! "

" excuse me? Was he like young or one of the old teachers " I glared at him " soooo it was a young one ! Speaking of crushes I used to have one on moon. Back when I was yknow suicidal "

" excuse me !?????! " while bolting straight up the blankets flew up making him shiver

" did I never tell you that? Well , yeah I was suicidal , actually attempted it twice , yeah, I was a pussy couldn't take bullying for anything. They would call me names like shitlip , lip and would refer to me as the kid who went down in a lawnmower . I never thought getting a Mohawk and a couple of tattoos would help that ..... I never wanted it to help me . But hawk , hawk saved my life and now he's gone " tears trickled down his face " a-and I don't know what to do! It's just if he's gone! The bullying is gonna get worse and worse ! I know your mental health is way worse than mine right now but I can't take it! "

" eli... I never knew you felt this way...... "

" I know y/n-" his phone buzzed loudly " shit ! I'm meant to be home right now I've got to go! See you tomorrow alright? " with a passionate kiss he left me on the bed. I wondered , is what he said true? Am I just selfish? I never considered that... Once I new he was home I started to text him asking him a ton I questions , luckily it was nothing to serious , God I couldn't wait for the all valley.