Oh, How Lovely~ Lams

28.

John sniffled as he packed a bag for Philip, very emotional. It didn't take long, only packing what he would for sure need; a few outfits, night clothes, a couple toys, and his headphones. His mom was in the other room, knowing she needed to be there after Philip left. 

John finished, sitting up the bed and picking Philip up, putting him in his lap. 

"Lil man," John smiled sadly, touching Philip's stomach gently. "You're gonna... You gotta..." He took a deep breath, trying to hold back his tears. 

"This lady is gonna come and get you in a bit and you're gonna... you're gonna stay at some peoples house for a bit." John tried his best to explain. 

"Papa come too?" Philip asked, tilting his head. 

John shook his head. "No, lil man. Papa can't come." He took a deep breath. 

"Why?" Philip started to whimper and cry. 

"Cause I just... I can't. But Ima come see you whenever I can and you can call me whenever, ya know? I got my number right here and you can just ask and I'll answer right away." John tried not to cry but it wasn't working. He held Philip tightly as he started to cry. 

"I want Papa!" Philip started to cry, holding onto his father. 

John couldn't say anything else, crying softly while he held his son tightly. This was hard, terribly hard. 

They cried together for the next 45 minutes until their was a knock at the door. Eleanor, who was waiting in the other room and answered it. 

She came to the bedroom door and knocked before opening it. "She's here, hijo." She said, sadly. 

John gave a sniffle and nodded, holding Philip a little tighter for a moment before he let go. 

"Come on, lil man. We gotta..." John couldn't even finish the sentence. He picked Philip up, grabbing his couple bags and a picture on the nightstand he was going to give him. He looked at the social worker and squeezed his eyes. He opened them and went to the door, putting Philip down and bending down to his height. 

"You're gonna go with this nice lady, baby. And-and I'm gonna see you soon." John tried but he was overwhelmed with emotions. 

"No-Papa!" Philip sobbed and opened his arms. John hugged him. "I don't wanna, lil man. I don't..." He let out a shaky breath, sobbing gently. 

He held his son for a moment before letting go. "Here... When you really miss Papa, just look... look at this." He gave Philip the picture. "This is-um.. It's me and you... it's us when you were just a baby so just... just have this and you can look at it whenever you want, baby." 

"I love you so much, lil man. So so much." He hugged him tightly again. 

"I-I love Papa!" Philip sobbed and held on before the lady said they had to go. It took a while for Philip to let go but John walked him down to the car and buckled him in. He kissed his head before they left. 

He watched the car go before breaking down. He was breathing hard, holding his chest. 

"Mama!" He sobbed. He hadn't cried like this in a long time. 

"Hijo, hijo, come on. Let's go back up to the apartment." 

-

"You're going to move in with me full time, John." Eleanor said as they sat in Alex's kitchen. "It's the best option to get child protective services off your ass. I'll switch to only working mornings and lunch so you can stay on nights. I'll take Philip while you're at work." 

"Good- that's good. And you have to stay away from anything- any wrong move can cost you right now." Alex pitched in. "You're testifying tomorrow and then the judge will make a final decision. It may not be a permanent one but usually another won't be made before ninety days so we need to think this is your only chance." 

John nodded. "I know- fuck- I know." He put his head in his hands. It had been four days and he felt like he was going crazy. He got to see Philip for the first time earlier, supervised. He hated that he had to be watched, as if he was some criminal. but he tried to play nice. He would do anything to have his son back. 

"We have the pictures and the statements so I know that she won't get him over you- no way. Especially after the scars on your back." Alex shook his head, sighing. 

"I hope not. I gave her so many chances." John said, sounding defeated. He had sounded that way since they took Philip. He was clearly depressed over it, but who could blame him? 

"You did, mi hijo, you did. You're too quick to forgive. Something I love so much about you but hate how much trouble it brings you." Eleanor said, pushing some of her sons hair back. 

John nodded and closed his eyes. 

"Are you alright if I go? I have work." Eleanor explained after a few minutes. 

"Yeah, mama, I'm okay." John assured, opening his eyes. 

Eleanor nodded and patting his cheek. She went to Alex and took both of his hands in her own. "Muchas gracias. Aprecio todo lo que estás haciendo por mi familia." She told him. 

"No hay problema. Haré todo lo que esté a mi alcance para corregir esto." Alex assured, smiling. 

Eleanor smiled gently back before patting his cheek and leaving. 

Alex went and sat in the stool next to John. "Okay, Jay. So I think-" He started before John cut him off by kissing him. He held it for a moment before pulling away. 

"I-uh- I'm sorry. I know we have to wait or whatever but right now, I really need you, Lex." John said after he pulled away, looking like he was going to cry. 

Alex gave a sympathetic look, nodding gently and taking on of John's hands, which was in his lap. 

"I understand."