A Series of Unfortunate Events: Vol. 2

The Austere Academy [5]

Carmelita cleared her throat.

Larry turned around "Why won't you leave me alone?"

"I'm still hungry," Carmelita said.

"I gave you my burrito. We agreed that was fair,"

"I'm hungry for revenge,"

"What?"

"You had me suffer long enough,"

"The menu is chosen by the school district,"

"For years you've infiltrated my schemes, relying on morals and literature to muck up my life. Well, these are your victoriously final days,"

"I have no idea what you're talking about,"

Carmelita turned toward Count Olaf. "How did I do?"

"Those last few lines were for me," Count Olaf corrected.

"I'm so adorable when I say them,"

"But theater is about context,"

"Let's take it from the flop,"

"Take it from the top," Fia corrected.

"Hush." Count Olaf scolded "The adults are speaking,"

"All right, fine," Carmelita grunted, purposefully walking on Fia's toes as she left the cafeteria.

"I would believe it if she were your actual biologic child," Fia muttered.

"You're wrong about everything," Larry told Count Olaf.

"You shouldn't have said that," Fia warned as Count Olaf lunged toward Larry.

"Same goody-goody moral stance, I see," Count Olaf said. "The only thing that's changed is your hair,"

"It's a hairnet," Larry corrected "as required by the Department of Education. In our organization, that's called successful infiltration,"

"Something he doesn't know about," Fia said.

"I learned what that word means, but then I forgot," Count Olaf argued.

"All you need to remember is that we're one step ahead of you." Larry proclaimed.

"Strong words coming from someone who's scrubbing a lasagna pan," Count Olaf tossed the pan aside.

Larry grabbed Fia and placed her behind him as he grabbed a hose "Cannelloni,"

"You wouldn't dare. This is dry-clean only,"

"You're in luck because we're taking you to the cleaners," Larry squeezed the trigger but nothing came out. He went into a self-defense stance. "I don't know how you got in here,"

"A girl propped open the door," Count Olaf recalled.

Larry looked back at Fia.

"The other girl," Fia corrected.

"But we're sending you back out," Larry said.

"What do you mean, we?" Count Olaf wondered.

"The pronoun for first-person plural. I'm not working alone,"

"Oh, goodness me, you have comrades. You have cohorts. Why didn't I think of that?"

"En garde!" One of the woman twins proclaimed as she held Larry.

"That's french for we gotcha!" The other added.

"Do you think you can win?" Larry voiced.

Count Olaf chuckled "Totally. And do you know why? You may have the smarts and the skills. You may have the classified codes and secret libraries. You may have wisdom and integrity and various poems committed to memory. But do you know what I have?" Count Olaf asked.