Just One Yesterday

Forgetting You

"Patrick! Stop!" I giggle uncontrollably.
"No! I'm not going to stop tickling you until you say it!"
"Fine! I love you!"
He finally let's go and helps me up. I grab my stomach still laughing.
"I'm gonna have abs now." I say extremely out of breath.
He just rolls his eyes and laughs at me.
Then we're just standing there. Staring into each others eyes. It's kinda nice. I've always loved Patrick's eyes. And they way I can so easily get lost in them.

Suddenly, everything starts spinning. Patrick is lost in a blur and my stomach is stirring. 'What's happening?' I think to myself.
I shut my eyes tightly waiting for it to end. After a few seconds I don't feel dizzy anymore so I open my eyes.
I'm no longer in my living room, I'm in an airport lobby.
"Patrick?" I yell turning around.
I see him standing at the gate about 20 feet away talking to a fligh assistant. He looks as if he's about to board a plane.
"Patrick?!" I shout once more.
He's acting like he can't hear me. I run over to him and try to peck him on the shoulder. My hand goes right through.
"What the hell?" I say out loud without meaning to.
"Patrick?" I ask again but no response. "Hello?!" I look to both of them but neither of them answer.
I try to shake him again but I still fall right through.
What is happening? Why can't he hear or see me? Why can't I touch him?
I try jumping in front on the flight assistant, perfectly in Patrick's view. He just looks over me. I wave my hands in the air and jump up and down, and still, nothing.
What is going on? What is wrong with me?!
"Patrick!" I yell as loud as I can.

He then hands the woman a piece of paper, thanks her, and starts walking away.
"Wait!" I shout. "Patrick where are you going?!"
I start running to try and catch up to him before he slips through the door. When I finally get to him he pulls the glass door open.
"Wait! Patrick wait!" I yell again even though I know he won't hear me.
Finally he slips through the door without a second look back.
I run over to the window and I can see the plane he's boarding.
I repeatedly slam my hands against the glass even though I know it's hopeless.
I call his name over and over again until it starts to sound like gibberish.
My hands are sore from hitting the glass so many times but I don't care. I keep banging on it hoping that by some miracle he will hear me. But he never does...
I finally see the plane door close with Patrick on the other side of it, and decide it's time to give up. I slide my hands down the glass and fall to the floor.
I collapse and put my head in my hands. Why is this happening to me? I don't get it. What did I do wrong? Why can no one see or hear me? Its like I don't even exist anymore. I'll probably never be able to see Patrick ever again...
I start to cry without even meaning to. I let the tears stream down my cheeks for a good 3 minutes.
Suddenly everything starts becoming blurry again. I frown and look up. The plane is getting ready to take off from what I can tell.
As the world before my eyes starts to spin I manage one last word.
"Patrick..." his name falls out of my mouth with the last big breath I was holding.
Everything is spinning to much for me to see anything now. My stomach starts turning again and I shut my eyes tight.
I manage to hear one more thing before everything goes black.

It's Patrick's voice...

"Autumn..." it comes out as a whisper. But it's enough for me to know it's him.

Suddenly I jerk awake. I jolt up in bed and gasp for air. I run my fingers through my hair and look around my room. I grab my glasses from my nightstand and glance at the clock.
It reads "3:17am". The same time I wake up from this same dream every week.
I wish I would stop dreaming of Patrick but I can't. I haven't even seen him in 4 years. But still, I have this exact same dream every week. What could this even mean? Am I missing him that bad? Is it a sign? Who knows.
All I know is every time, I wake up on the verge of tears, gasping for air. It hits me so hard.

Maybe its time to call Patrick...
Not now, obviously. Its 3am. But I should probably call him tomorrow just to see how he's doing. Hopefully it won't be too awkward even though we haven't spoken in years. I'll just have to see how it goes...

That's the last though that comes to mind before I take my glasses off and let my eyes drift closed...