Young and Stupid Part 2

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"First things first, Imma say all the words inside my head," he looked me dead in the eyes. I stared back at him, eyes filled with tears and lip trembling. We were finally going to talk about what happened the day I broke up with him. It had been two years since it happened, but it had never left either of our minds. The hard truth was that I had broken his heart. I gave in to the whispers and lies people were spreading. It was my fault our relationship was dead, not his.  Today, I was prepared to tell him everything. 

"I love you, okay? I've never stopped loving you after all these years," he scoffed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I tried to get over you, I really tried. I even met a new girl, but it didn't go anywhere. I just can't stop thinking about you. What you did to me still haunts me." I swallowed down the tears and let out a shaky breath. He wasn't done confessing just yet, but I had heard all that I needed to hear. "I never told you this, but I never understood why you broke up with me. I thought I did, but I guess I was just too afraid to say it. You hurt me, but I still love you. Pretty pathetic, huh?"

"No, it's not pathetic at all," I grabbed his hands and held them tightly. This was it, the moment I've been dreaming about since I left him. "You're right. I did hurt you. I didn't know what I had until it was gone. I was young and stupid, and thought I was doing the right thing at the time. It turns out, I did more harm than good," I gave a dry laugh. My eyes stung with tears, but I couldn't let them fall yet. 

"What do you mean? Are you saying that the reason you broke up with me wasn't actually the truth?" I looked up at him, but my silence gave the answer away. "You were lying to me? How could you?" He pushed me away, and I let him.

"You have every right to be mad at me. I'm going to explain everything, but I need you to listen to me, okay?"

"Alright," he sighed and pulled me over to the couch. 

"Do you remember those group of girls in school who weren't the nicest to me?"

"Yeah, I was always trying to get you away from them. You claimed that you needed to 'fit in,' whatever that means. Wait, does our break up have something to do with them?"

"I'm getting to that," I took a deep breath to calm myself. "During our relationship, they would always drag me into their group and tell me just what they thought of me dating you. At first, I didn't listen to them. But then, they started insulting you, and that's when I started paying attention. I was so angry at them that they would talk about you like that, but for some reason, I didn't utter a sound. I didn't stand up for you like I should have, and I began to let their words cloud my judgement."

"Wait, hold on a second," he stood up. I knew this wasn't going to end well, so I waited patiently for his outburst. "You let a bunch of stupid mean girls get inside your head and you didn't think to come to me for help? Why?" Out of all the things I expected him to say, that was the last thing on my mind. 

"In all honesty, that wasn't what I thought you'd say," I chuckled. 

"I may be upset, but my first priority will always be you, no matter if we're together or not," he grasped my hand and intertwined our fingers. I couldn't help but blush.

"But, you should be cursing me out or something." I was surprised again when he laughed.

"Wow, you've been really hard on yourself these past two years, huh?" He pulled me into a hug and buried his head in the crook of my neck, which was always his favorite spot. It felt nice, being held by him again. In fact, I realized I missed this more than I thought I did. I finally let a few tears fall as he rubbed my back in soothing circles. I couldn't believe he still loved me, even when I deeply hurt him. "So you broke up with me because you believed all those rumors those girls were stirring up?"

"No," I pulled away reluctantly. "I never knew if you noticed, but they were judging us. To this day, I don't know why they were judging us, but I knew that you didn't deserve to be judged like that. So I thought, if I wasn't seen with you anymore, you wouldn't get bullied by them." He cupped my face in both of his hands and gave me the saddest look I'd ever seen on him. It was even sadder than when I broke up with him. 

"All this time, I thought you cut it off because of something I did when really, you were thinking of me that whole time." Now it was his turn to let a few tears fall, which made me cry a little bit harder. "Honey, I've dealt with bullies like them my whole life. I knew what they were saying about me, but I didn't care. For the first time in my life, I didn't care. And do you know why? It was because I had you by my side. I was happier with you than with any other girls I've been with. I knew all those things they were saying weren't true because I had found the perfect girl for me. I know you were trying to do the right thing and spare me from the truth, but if you had just told me what was going on, I would've tried to help you."

I was sobbing now, tears falling from my eyes in buckets. I couldn't utter a word I was crying so hard. I had hated myself for what I'd done to him for two years. I couldn't forgive myself no matter what I did. Now, he was telling me that he was willing to help me and that was a privilege I thought I would never get. He pulled me into another tight hug and cried with me. All of those feelings I felt during high school came pouring out. He was forgiving me. I mean, he was truly forgiving me. When we both calmed down, we wiped each other's faces off and laughed. "Do you think you can give me a second chance?" I asked in a tiny voice.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words," he chuckled. "Yes, I wanna try again. I want to be your boyfriend again. But this time, let's both agree to never lie to each other again," he held out his pinky finger. I giggled and locked mine with his.

"I like that plan." He then grabbed my face again and kissed me. This time, I was never going to let him go.

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