dreams (alver x og cale)

Part 6

His lips were soft.

Cale woke up with a feeling of discontent deep inside, sitting up in bed and accepting the water he was offered silently.

He'd dreamt.

A real dream this time.

It was disconcerting to say the least. It highlighted how much the others were not dreams. They occurred while he was asleep but the lucidity he had within, the vivid memories, the consistency of the reality within, and the very tangible feel of a warm body against his.

Alberu's lips were soft.

The kiss in the dream shocked him awake because it didn't feel like anything at all.

'...finally shoo away those fucking 'dreams' and then I actually dream about the bastard.'

It was beyond frustrating, it was infuriating. He'd been toyed with and used and left at the wayside and here he was, still dreaming about kissing his 'prince charming'.

Despicable.

Cale threw the cup across the room, mindless of how some servant would have to clean it up and laid back down on the bed with his face hidden in the crook of his arm.

He knew enough about the crown prince to ruin his life. If he really wanted to, he could get his pound of flesh.

He didn't want to.

'...what do I want then?'

Soon the crown prince would become the king and then the gaping void of space between them would only grow. If Alberu Crossman was hesitant to stain his reputation with something as filthy as Cale with only the weight of princehood above him, it was doubtless that kinghood would have been the limit.

It was inevitable.

'We're just incapabitable. Who needs that power hungry bastard anyway?'

He knew that Alberu wasn't power hungry. He was a more competent candidate for the throne than his brothers and he took that responsibility seriously. He had plans to bring the kingdom to greatness. He was certainly ambitious but he was not full of greed.

"...this feels like shit."

He'd been able to say the words, to break up with Alberu before Alberu broke up with him, but all he'd done was accelerate the inevitable.

Were they even together?

He'd been an amusing toy for Alberu and that was the absolute best case scenario. Cale didn't want to consider that someone who actually loved him would cast him aside like that.

Cale's love was a stubborn and dedicated thing. He didn't cast anyone he loved aside even when they hurt him.

'...except for his highness.'

Cale scoffed at the thought and swung out of bed, his bad mood practically radiating off of him as he was dressed for the day.

Alberu was the exception to that rule.

Did it count as casting Alberu aside if Alberu had plans to do it first? If Alberu never loved him at all?

It was incongruent.

There were years at a time when he thought his father didn't love him and he still ardently loved his family and remained at their side.

Alberu was a different entity for him.

A person for whom he could be truly selfish. Not the play-acting selfish rages he persisted with.

Selfish. Alberu was his and he was allowed to expect love in return. Allowed to get angry when he didn't get it.