semi automatic

fourteen

˗ˏˋ ★ 'ˎ˗

"y/n, can you blend this for me," taylor asked as he went to the register. y/n; who was staring off into space, quickly snapped up and walked to the blender. she added some ice and almond milk as the order requested and poured it into a cup. she brought it to the side counter, calling out the name.

walking back to the blenders, she looked up to the clock planted on the wall and sighed. she walked to the back and said a short hello to miss williams.

she hasn't spoken to anyone in about a week and a half. her mind was occupied by tyler. he hasn't left her thoughts since that night. she went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat. she would've liked to do the classic 'slide down the wall and cry', but she knows no one has mopped the floor yet.

y/n hid her face in her hands as the tears fell. seems like this was all she could do anymore. the only thing she could feel was the warm sticky tears, she hates it.

her hand covered her mouth, in an attempt to muffle her cries. she stood up and grabbed some paper towels to dab under her eyes. she looked at herself in the mirror, almost having a staring contest with her reflection.

she walked out the bathroom and immediately went back to work. almost throwing herself into making drinks as fast as she can. as much as she wanted her day to go by slow to distract herself, she couldn't help but want to be over it at the same time.

"you okay," taylor asked as he came and tapped her on the shoulder. "hon, you're about to spill—."

a small hiss escaped her mouth as the hot coffee hit her hand. she looked up at taylor with an unreadable expression, his only guess was guilt. that, or pain, cause she did just get burned, but whatever.

he went to check her hand before she pulled away and walked to the bathroom for the second time that day. she ran her hand under cold water, brows knitting in slight pain.

"shit," she whispered.

when the pain subsided, she dried her hands when to open the door when taylor knocked.

"hey, n/n," he started. "mom and i talked and think it would be better if you went home today, take some time off. okay, hon?"

"im not being fired, am i?" she questioned.

"god, no. promise, we just want you to work when you're able to concentrate, y'know? come back in whenever you're ready."

she nodded despite taylor not being able to see. walking out to her car and climbing in, she sped off back home. she was glad that she could take time off work and maybe put more time into her studies. anything to keep her mind off the shit-show that so happened to be her life. she wasn't sure what to do anymore. she wanted nothing more than to go and apologize to awsten, beg him to take her back, that it will never happen again. but she knows she can't. she knows that if she were to see tyler, she would welcome him back with open arms. awsten or not.

making her way up to her room once she got home, she threw herself onto her bed. laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. her fingers starting to pick at her other hand. fiddling with her own fingers as nothing came to mind. it was as if her mind had just completely shut off as soon as she laid down. the wires in her mind had suddenly burned out and left her with nothing. her hand started to pull at a hangnail on her middle finger. her eyes slightly twitching when she tried to rip it off. with a big huff, she gave up. resting her hands against her stomach, continuing to stare at the popcorn like ceiling.