Tell Me I'm Safe, You've Got Me Now

Chapter Two: Sue Snell Tries

Telling Tommy all about it was cathartic-- it helped her a little but she knew that it didn't help Carrie. Leaning against his car, with her arms crossed as he talked about Danny Patrick made her feel better. He made her feel better.

Then he took her hand. "Did you apologize to Carrie?"

She felt more of a coward, when she didn't say that no, she hadn't-- because she was a coward. She got close, she had parked at Carrie's house, had stood at their front porch and had almost knocked. But then she heard something that she shouldn't have heard, trouble, and she ran instead of trying to help her.

She didn't want to say she was a coward-- not to Tommy. So she scoffed, and spat back, even though sweet good guy Tommy didn't deserve it; "Did you apologize to Danny Patrick?"

The guilt settled in her chest like a paperweight right after she finished her words.

"No. But we're not in 6th grade anymore." Tommy replied. He chased after her when she walked away, lifting her into his arms, with one hand behind her knees and the other holding her head.

"Don't-" she protested too late, and too weakly, not that it mattered-- she didn't really care if he lifted her like this and made her feel special like he was the only girl he would ever lift like this, and she really hoped that she would be.

"He was a dick to me." Tommy said. "What did Carrie White ever do to you?"

There it was. The question she'd been dreading. The answer was; nothing. Carrie White never did anything to anyone, except believe in her religion and live the way she had been taught to live.

But if the question had been, what did you do to Carrie White? The answers were plenty and so much she had done to the poor girl that she was embarrassed just thinking about it.

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It was hours upon hours later, when Carrie had already fallen asleep in the closet that her Momma had opened the closet door and took her out, with a gentle caress on her back and the other on her forehead, while she slept on the ground, with her arm as a pillow.

"Did you finish your prayers, little girl?" Momma asked.

She sat up, earnestly looking at her Momma. "Yes, Momma."

"That's my good girl." Her momma replied. Being Momma's good girl was a good thing, it meant she didn't have to go back into the closet again for some time. Momma kissed her cheek. Carrie felt happy again, loved.

Momma cared. She didn't suck, those words were awful and terribly sinful of her to even think, much less say. Momma loved her, and Momma just wanted what was best for her.

"I love you." Momma said. Momma wouldn't ever lie. The Bible forbade her to. If Momma said she loves her, then Momma loved her.

"I love you too, Momma." Carrie replied.

Another kiss to her cheek while her Momma stroked her hair. Braiding her hair. She looked downwards. Then back up to meet her Momma's eyes, and let out a chuckle with a small smile.

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Sue lined up with the other girls, towering over some with the height that she had compared to all of them. She knew what she had to do now and she wasn't going to chicken out. Tommy Ross's girlfriend had to be better than this.

"You have a big week coming up, a month, actually." Miss Desjardin started. "Probably the biggest month of your lives, Prom and then Graduation. Are you excited?" She asked with a smile.

The girls chuckled and smiled, but Sue wasn't sure if she should make a noise at all.

"You probably all have your dresses. You have your dates by now." Miss Desjardin was pacing in front of them, creating more tension in Sue to add on to the tension and guilt that Sue had already created for herself. "What about you, Chris? Who's the lucky guy?"