Always in my Head [Sashanne]

Chapter 4

⚠️️Just another fair warning. Mentions of homophobia, self harm, and suicide. Trigger Warnings⚠️

Sasha's POV

-Flashback-

I'm home. After all those months trapped in Amphibia, I'm finally home. This time it was gonna be different. I was a changed individual inside and out.

As excited as I was to be home, I was welcomed like expected. Before getting transported to Amphibia, my mom and I were constantly at each other's throats. We didn't always see eye to eye. I guess that plays a little bit of a role in my anger issues.

I was finally in a place where I wanted to apologize to and make an effort with my mom.

I opened the door to silence. "Where the heck have you been," she went on, "hopefully not with those friends of yours, especially that Boonchuy girl."

This was one of the biggest reasons my mother and I would argue. She never liked Marcy or Anne. She would always say they were a "bad influence." Looking back though, I was not the greatest influence on them.

I sat down next to her, "Mom, it is time you know about my adventures in Amphibia." With that I explained everything that happened from becoming second in command to Captain Grime all the way to leading a rebellion against King Andrais.

"So what they are talking about on the news is real," it was almost like she didn't believe me, "and you were trapped with those friends of yours? I knew they were no good for you!"

I had almost had enough, "Mom, it wasn't like that! I was the one who told Anne to take the music box from the pawn shop! I'm the one who manipulated Anne over and over again. I won't do that to her again."

"All you ever talk about is that Boonchuy girl," she continued to yell.

Before thinking twice, I spit out, "Maybe it's because I like like her!"

I covered my mouth, realizing I just came out to her.

Before I could say anything, she said, "Get out."

I stood speechless for a moment, stunned.

"What," she screamed at the top of her lungs, "You gone deaf too, I said get the hell out of this house!"

...

I jolted awake with my heart beating out my chest. Just another nightmare. I checked the clock, only to see it is only 4:24 AM.

I turned to see Anne was still sound asleep. Thank goodness, I didn't wake her with my night terror.

I got up from the bed and decided to make myself a cup of coffee. It isn't like I'll be going back to sleep with all these constant nightmares.

Once I got my coffee, I sat outside on the balcony. Sitting out here really helps me to relax. That's when I heard footsteps coming from inside the apartment.

Which one them could possibly be up this early?

That question was quickly answered when I saw Anne step outside.

"Anne," I froze, "what are you doing up so early?"

"I needed to use the bathroom," she began wiping the sleep out of her eyes, "shouldn't I be asking you the same?"

"Fine," I sighed, "I had a nightmare."

Anne sat down next to me causing me to slightly fluster up.

"Do you want to talk about it," she asked with concern in her eyes.

I shook my head, "If it's okay, I don't really want to right now."

"Of course Sasha," she threw her arms around me, "I'll be here when you are ready.

Before I knew it, I was ugly crying into her shoulder.

What is this? I have never been so vulnerable in front of Anne before. She just makes feel so safe.

Finally, I was able to collect myself from all the crying. All thanks to Anne, of course.

"Thanks Anne," I began, "I really appreciate it."

She smiled, "I know you will be there for me when the time comes by."

I noticed Anne was shivering, "oh my gosh! Anne, are you cold?"

"It's just a little cool out this early in the morning, but-," she started.

I cut her off, "Nonsense. Take my hoodie. It's the least I can do."

I took my hoodie off, revealing the black sports bra I was wearing underneath. I passed Anne the hoodie.

Dang, she looks so adorable in my hoodie.

"Nice tattoos," Anne said while staring at my arms.

"You like them," I grinned while feeling my cheeks burning, "I based the sleeves on our adventures in Amphibia."

Anne nodded when she started tracing over them.

Suddenly, she stopped, "Umm.."

Soon, all the memories start flashing before my eyes. The cutting. The bandages. The attempted suicide. The therapy sessions. The medication. The cover-ups. All of it.

Earlier in the year, I stopped taking my medicine because I thought I was better. I think it is finally catching up to me.

"Sasha, tell me what you need me to do," Anne grabbed my hands, "please."

With that, I told her where I kept my medication in the apartment.

A few seconds later, Anne came out with a few capsules and a small glass of water.

"You're the best," I nudged at Anne.

She had a huge smile plastered on her face. For a second, I thought I saw a small blush creep on her face. Probably imagining things.

We sat on the balcony for the reminder of the morning, talking about anything and everything.

I will make sure that this girl has the best birthday weekend ever, and that's a promise.

___________________________________

What's up everyone?

Feel free to drop comments.

-Whit