death by a thousand cuts

PART I - Chapter 3

PART I

Chapter III

"Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright but I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside"

Karina's POV

          "Hey, Gi. I don't think I can make it to your party tonight. Boss T wanted me to cover Johnny's shift. Johnny's in the quarantine. Unfortunately, he got the virus," I say with a sorry look on my face. Giselle sighs and pouts, hoping that I would still change my mind.

When I was offered a position in a local hospital, I jumped at the chance to put my degree to good use. Giselle and I were the area's new nurses. After discovering that we were the same age and had similar interests, we became good friends. Working in a hospital is taxing, but having Giselle as a colleague and best friend makes it more bearable.

Being a nurse has taken such a toll on my physical and mental health that I've considered quitting and becoming a full-time bartender. However, the salary is fair, especially if you are promoted or transferred to another department within the hospital. And that is precisely what I need. A decent wage that will keep myself and my family alive. Very dramatic—I know—but I'm the breadwinner. Otherwise, my life will crumble unless I work like a horse.

          "You never rest, Rina," Giselle says.

          "I know. I'm sorry," I smile weakly. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

Giselle embraces me with a hug. "That's not what I meant. Don't be sorry. I just don't like seeing you overworked. You're not a machine. You're just a human being who deserves rest."

          "I know, I know. That's why I quit my third job, didn't I? I'll be a step closer to peace, Gi. I will definitely get right there. Just you wait."

          "And I'll be patiently waiting. But please let me know what I can do to lighten your load. Rina, I'll gladly take a shift for you or whatever you need. Just tell me," Giselle says. I chuckle, my eyes welling up with tears.

          "This may sound cheesy, but your existence is enough for me, Gi. Just you being there for me as my best friend is enough," I smile.

          "That's definitely cheesy," Giselle laughs. "Seriously though, you can always count on me, okay?"

I nod my head. "I'll keep that in mind. You can count on me, too. I promise I'll make it up-"

          "Shush. It's just a party! There will be other parties we will attend together, Rina! There's always a next time. No need to be sorry, okay?"

          "You are the best, Gi," I hug her this time.

I may be far from home, but I'm grateful for the few people in my life who make me feel loved right now. It's one of the few reasons why, no matter how difficult life gets, I keep going.

≈

I headed straight to the bar where I'd been working for a year after finishing my shift at the hospital. It's an Asian bar run by Lee Taeyong, my boss, who is Korean. He's a fantastic boss, and we seem to be merely good friends despite the fact that he's only five years my senior. When I was looking for my second job, I had no intention of working in a bar. At the time, Johnny, a mutual friend, told me that he was working part-time at this bar and that they were seeking for another bartender. Naturally, I refused. I had no prior experience with waitressing or bartending. I also dislike hanging out with intoxicated folks. However, Johnny was desperate to fill the position at the moment. Let's just say I was desperate, too. So, for the second time, I accepted it without hesitation. When Taeyong hired me, I had no idea what was on his mind. I assumed I'd be working as a waitress, but he wanted me to work as a bartender instead. Seriously? I'm a registered nurse. I can combine medications if you give me a vial and a syringe. But not alcoholic beverages! The prospect of being fired for not getting the drinks right terrified me. Surprisingly, after learning the basics from Johnny and Taeyong, I discovered that I enjoyed it. It turns out I'm pretty excellent at it.