Seventeen-year-old Hazel never saw having a sick mom in her future. And the last thing she expected was for her new next-door neighbor to give her a checklist that would change everything.
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After Hazel Winter's mom got sick, all emotion vanishe...
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"And you haven't given him an answer yet?" Margie asks. She replaces my mom's antibiotics and throws the empty bag from her previous round into the trash, making a tsk-tsk sound as she does. "Don't leave that poor boy hanging. He likes you, Hazel. In all the years I've known you, I've never seen you this happy."
Slinking back into the chair, I feel even more like shit. It's been three days since River proposed the question about going to the dance, and I still haven't been able to give him an answer. "I just feel like I'll end up hurting him. I'm leading him on, you know? How could I possibly be in a relationship when-" I lower my voice to a whisper, glancing over at my mom, who's been sleeping for the past two hours. "It's a lot, Margie. Taking care of her is a lot, and I'm not quite sure I have the room in my life to fit River in, too. Being friends is less pressure, but a relationship? That feels like I have to make room, and I don't know if have any left."
Margie can't ever sit beside me to talk since she's on the clock, so she always pretends to do something in my mom's room to take a couple of extra minutes in case anyone checks the cameras. Now she's fumbling with my mom's comforter to pretend to fix it. "You'll never know if you don't try, will you? That boy is sweet, Hazel. He cares for you. I wouldn't let him get away because you're scared of what might happen."
I know she's right, but I still have doubts, especially after discovering that River is in foster care. He's used to people leaving too, and I don't want to be another person to add to that list of those who have abandoned him.
"And I think going to your winter formal will be fun," Margie adds. "You'll regret not going in the future. I remember my first prom like it was yesterday." Her eyes light up as the memories dance behind them. "I went with my crush, Paul Weston. God, that was twenty years ago. It feels like forever."
"Are you still with him?" I ask, but from the way her smile drops, I'm going to assume no.
She shakes her head, verifying my previous thought. "He was going to college in California, I wanted to stay here close to home. It just didn't work out. I'm fine, though, being single. I work a lot and don't really have time for anyone."
"See?" I reiterate. "So you understand!"
"That is not the same thing," she mutters lowly. "I have to work a lot to pay the bills, and you know your mom would tell you to go to that dance in a heartbeat if you wanted to. She loves River, and she wouldn't have a problem with you making extra room for him if it meant a little less time with her."
That's the thing, though. The amount of guilt I would feel doing that is about the size of Mount Everest. "Choosing to spend more time with River wouldn't feel right," I tell her. "Not when she's always in the hospital."
Margie's eyes soften over me, and it's that look that I hate—the look of pity. "Honey, your mom is in the hospital once a month at least. Nobody would judge you for having a night of fun. Nobody would judge you for spending time with someone who takes you away from all of this, even for a few hours."
