My Life with a Narcissistic

The cycle of an abusive family.

They always pass accountability onto the next person. They always pass responsibility and obligation onto the next person. They always pass standards onto the next person.... They always pass accountability onto the next person.

My mom's still a bitch. My sister's morally bankrupt.

6/13/2022 - 6/14/2022

My sister went fucking nuclear over a motherfucking game. Not unexpected. given she's an unstable piece of shit who my mom has enabled.

My sister cries to mom, instead of taking responsibility or taking accountability for his fucking shit.

My mother, expected to set a standard, decides to go around any moral or ethical obligans, not even as a parent or mediator, to not only fail to fucking mediate, but to again enable her shitty fucking attitude, deflecting her own accountability in the process of playing neutral.

There's a concept my mom is fucking ignorant of; "Learning to fail," where my sister has been spoiled and rewarded for being a piece of shit, therefore being a piece of shit is okay.

You know how my mom believes? If she can act like she condones or endorses something, her words don't mean anything after two fucking decades alive.
My sister gets violent and doesn't get punished for it = My mom didn't stop it, I don't give a fuck how my mom spins a moral story, since the actions taken contradict the lie told.

I get hurt? Doesn't care. Would rather spin herself as a mediator or neutral-party. And the problem with my mom, especially, is the fact she casually mistreats someone on the spectrum, expecting them to rise to her standards and meet them without questions asked. Again, while at the same time neglecting them, never supporting them, never fostering any talents and never giving enough of a fuck to encourage the autistic child.

My sister beats the shit out of me? This isn't about the instance where she nearly fucking killed me with a sharp fucking object. God fucking forbid I fought back-- shit could've severed an artery and killed me, the dumb motherfucker. And the fuck did the mother do? Nothing.

I tried recording software and it sucked ass. When I finally found software that worked, it wasn't the best, but I am willing to take the next step in future legal action. My family's actions represent a dynamic of justified abuse and villified victims. Then pretending like their acts did not create a victim because they're too fucked up to realize what they're doing.

Then insisting I 'get a job,' when, for the better part of my entire autistic life, the problem had never been an unwillingness to do so, but an incapability to emotionally, mentally, or psychologically prepare. And I'll never be prepared due to actually blacking the fuck out from panic or fear. I will never get a job on my own, because I already feel like my abusive family will extort me and I'll never leave the house. Even if it ended the opposite way, with me being kicked the fuck out, before I can even afford to live on my own... that's exactly the issue.

The family never respected me. The sister's exploitative. The mother's an opportunistic nazi who believes in black supremacy. The dad was also too strict and too hard to be a dad, he was a drill sergeant who tried to encourage me to appreciate his farm-life, but even then, he pushed too hard, didn't promote anything at my pace, and still expected a positive result from a rushed test.