Black Swan: Min Yoongi
His head rested on the keyboard, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. He was seated in his studio, with most uncomfortable posture to sleep. His eyebrows start twitching and sweats start forming on his forehead, his body starts trembling. It seems like he is having a nightmare but neither does he opens his eyes nor is there anyone to wake him up.
The song he’s been working on for so long is still unfinished. He writes and erases all of it. He can’t focus on it. His computer screen is lit but his once word littered screen is empty. The screen that was once filled with musical notes and drafts to be joined together was now blank.
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He was roaming around in a vast area that was full of people, yet no one acknowledged his existence let alone recognize him. He looked around, approached a few people to know where he was but they just ignored and walked past him. He was flabbergasted, his heart started racing and his mind was confused. He was taken aback by the fact that no one recognized him. He wasn’t wearing mask he usually wears or covering himself. How can no one know of him? He was famous, famous enough to be surrounded by fans if he was ever seen on streets. Had it been any other day he’d be relieved of the situation but right now! His confusion was understandable.
He stopped pacing around and stood still taking in deep breaths. He then closed his eyes and sucked in a large amount of air and screamed at the top his lungs. There was silence… like time has stopped … his heart pounding in his ears… he slowly opened his eyes expecting people to be standing around him ready to ask if anything happened… nothing… Nothing had stopped; people were going on with their lives in that very moment… His ears couldn’t hear the sound of people walking past him…Everything kept happening around him, but he was not the part of it anymore…despite being there… he wasn’t there anymore… his worst fears coming to life…he felt tears brimming in his eyes and his throat closing up on him, his legs going limp and then he just collapsed on the busy street without anyone knowing.
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The light he saw was blinding but as it descended from the sky it was easier to look at or may be his eyes adjusted to it. The thing is that he wasn’t scared or confused at this strange phenomenon; he was rather at peace in a tranquil state. His heart wasn’t pounding anymore; his eyes weren’t holding any moisture. He was so calm like it was an everyday happening.
He reached his hand towards the light but it felt far away despite being so close. He tried again and again. He started running chasing the light but all the distance he covered was none. He was standing in the same place and so did the light. But his breath was short and his heart was aching. He placed a hand on his heart…
…..Silence…..
There was no struggle, no rhythm… nothing… he roamed his hand on his chest as if it moved to the left or right or down to his abdomen… nothing…
“Am I dead?” was the first thought that came into his mind.
He heard a thrum and once again his hand traced his chest for a sign of thump…Nothing…
The light ascended to where it came from… He took another attempt to get a hold of it but it went up… he jumped and jumped to reach it but all in vain. The light reached a peak and spread across the horizon and everywhere… It was everywhere …all around him…his head tilted up and eyes fixed on the source of light…
He doesn’t realize when his feet start sinking in the floor but he is in a trance…his feet are slowly sinking deeper until he is drowned till his waist… that is when his trance breaks and he loses the focus of the light… He struggles to get out… he reaches out his hand in hopes of being pulled out but he sinks in more until he is all in the ocean…
“Am I going to die now?”…
“Is this the moment I die?”
Several such questions flash through his mind…
His life flashes through his eyes… his happy face when he composed his first musical piece… his tears of joy when he won his first award… That is when his eyes snap open… he sees he is in a forest… a forest drowned in the ocean of despair… as soon as he opens his eyes… his feet touch the forest floor… and the floor starts swallowing him up… his struggle seems so long every second feels like eternity…
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He squirms in his chair and slowly opens his eyes and finds himself in his workroom. He is a breathless mess… sweat pooling on his back and face… his heart beating erratically. Wild waves of chill slipping down his spine…
He places his hand on his chest and finds a rhythm… wild… but alive…
He looks at his blank screen…
“Music…Music is all I’ve ever done…I don’t know what else to do…I don’t know how to do anything else…Music is all I have… If I don’t have music; I have nothing… My hands are empty and useless without music…I’m too young to lose hope. Why do I have no hope?” he asks himself… but the thumping of his heart says otherwise… His hand grabs a pen and starts scribbling lyrics for his next song…
Nothing can devour me
I shout out with ferocity
.
.
.
Killin’ me now
Killin’ me now
Do you hear me yeah…?
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The End
