Walls {Shelby and Toni}

A Million Miles

- Toni -

If I had one weakness, which I'm still not totally sure I do, it would be pretty girls in tears.

My gay awakening was the scene in Toy Story 2 when Woody finds Jessie curled up in a suitcase, alone and sad, and has to comfort her and tell her she's loved. I went through a phase when I was little where I would make my foster siblings rewind it over and over every time we watched. The pull I felt towards that animated doll was anything but straight.

When Leah made that manic lunge for Shelby, demanding answers for her insane conspiracies about the island and Shelby's eyes welled with frightened tears, I felt one of those old waves of protective energy surge like never before. It startled me so much, to be feeling it towards her, that I didn't jump into an irrational act of defense like I usually would. I just stared, watching.

It turned out Shelby didn't need my help. She shook Leah off and ripped something from her mouth in defiance. At first, I couldn't tell what it was. But then she parted her lips to speak...

"Happy?" She cried, holding the insert in Leah's face, "This is it. The big secret. I'm a freak who wears my teeth on a piece of plastic, and I'm not sneaking off as part of some dirty scheme, alright? I've been cleaning this thing as privately as possible like I've done since I was 11 years old. Does that sorta answer your question?" Her defeated smile broke my heart, "Or if not I could give you a better look."

She opened her mouth, jaw trembling, face stained with tears, the gaps in her teeth challenging us to look away. Everyone gave in but me. I stared at her with unblinking eyes and thought with a ferocious intensity that she was more beautiful like this than under any shiny spotlight on a pageant stage.

Shelby turned away and clicked her teeth back in, "Alright then," She said through a dry laugh, "Guess y'all know everything now. I'm a fake bitch with dentures, just one more reason to hate me."

Her gaze fell on me, piercing and raw, "Not that you needed any more."

I watched her walk away and felt the tug in my chest as she tore off a part of me and took it with her.

***

"Just getting a jump on the firewood situation."

I did not come to get a jump on the firewood situation. I didn't know what exactly I wanted when I volunteered for the only task that took me to Shelby's sulking forest hideaway, but firewood was the last thing on my mind.

"I only came here to get some space," She said from the log, her back to me, "I'm not like... up to anything."

"Hey, I never took you for a special ops rat, that's Leah's shit."

"Right," She scoffed, turning to me, "You just think I'm an asshole."

I whistled, feeling light and airy for the first time in days and wanting to take advantage of it, "You say your prayers with that mouth?"

Her half-hidden smirk urged me on.

"Do you ever play pranks?" I asked, "With those fangs of yours? You know, take 'em out, put them on top of your brother's lasagna when he's not looking?"

She looked grateful for the shift in tone but too tired to help me with it, "No."

"You should think about it," I said, bending to pick up a stick, "Could be a dope signature move."