Chapter 19: Finch Cortes' POV

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Why would Jack want to talk to me? He should be hating me right now. It was bad enough that Albert and I held him down while Race destroyed that art book of his, but I was the reason that Race allowed the Brooklyn newsies to hunt down Jack in Manhattan with the intent to beat him up. So, why would he want to talk to me?

Unless he doesn't actually want to talk to me. He just said that to the boys, so they wouldn't suspect anything. Maybe he wanted to soak me. I mean, I deserve a good soaking, but I thought that Jack would be the last person to do that to any of us. But if he wants to, then I won't fight him on it.

We walked into one of the bedrooms; the bedroom that I slept in, and he made me sit down on one of the beds; my bed.

"I think that we have a lot of things to talk about, don't you agree, Finch?". I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted Jack to get the soaking over with, so I can just be left alone and lick my wounds. But Jack wanted an answer of some kind. He waited for me to answer him, so I just nodded. "You have nothing to say? I am quite surprised about that, seeing how you were always spreading your mouth and talking crap about me, even when I wasn't here. The others, at least the first ones who showed that they still liked me and supported me, confirmed that for me". Was I really that awful toward Jack? I didn't think that I was, but maybe I did take things a little bit too far, especially with the Brooklyn incident. "I just want to know, what made you do that to me? Why did you hate me that much? I know that I was an idiot for my rally speech, but from what I just said down there, I said that speech to protect all of you. I never wanted any sympathy or gratification, or anything like that, but I thought most of you guys would understand. I know that some of it was my fault because I never told any of you, but I thought that at least all of you would have trusted me enough to know that I never would have betrayed you all like that on purpose. I am not mad at you about the art book incident because I have already forgiven Albert and Race for that, so it wouldn't be fair if I still held a grudge against you, but why did you hate me so much that you willingly convinced Race to sent Brooklyn over here to hunt me down?"

I never said that I hated you, Jack, but I also never said that I liked you either. I still liked you, Jack. You were my brother, so of course I still cared about you. I never stopped, but it just hurt too much when you said that speech, Jack. I just couldn't believe that the person who I trusted as an older brother and was one of the main supporters of the strike would just turn your back on everything that we worked so hard to achieve. I have been betrayed multiple times by people who I thought were my family and I thought that it would be different when I ran away to the Lodging House, and it was for a while.

At least until the strike happened. It did hurt when Tommy Boy, Henry, and Buttons became scabs, but they could be easily forgiven by me because they were some of the youngest newsies that we had, and at that point, we all thought that the strike was pointless, including me. But when it came to you at the rally, you were always the main supporter of the strike, it was even your idea in the first place, so just to see you just turn your back on everyone like that, it just hurt me in so many ways that could never be fixed.

I never wanted you to know how I actually felt about the betrayal, especially because you were the one that did the betrayal, so the best way that I thought you would understand was to treat you the same way that I felt. At the time, it felt justified and well deserved. And when you ran away from the Lodging House, I just felt that you were a coward for doing that. Because you didn't deserve to escape from your pain when I couldn't escape from my own feelings and pain. So, when I heard about Brooklyn hunting you down, I just thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to really show you how I felt, but now that I think about it, it was stupid to do any of that. I wasn't thinking straight and let my anger get the best of me, and that caused me to lose the older brother that I grown closest to the most over the years.

I am sorry, Jack. I really am. I would have said all of that out loud and to his face if it weren't for the fact that I was terrified that he would just reject it and soak me even harder than he wanted to.

He just sighed. "Look, if you don't want to explain yourself, then I don't want to waste our time anymore. Goodbye, Finch". He turned around to walk out the door, but something inside me made me stand up and grab him by the arm to stop him from leaving.

"Wait! Jack, don't leave! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry for how I treated you! I'm sorry for how I convinced Race to bring Brooklyn over here! And I'm sorry that I am the worst brother you ever had, but please, don't leave again! If you want to soak me, then just do it! I won't fight you, I won't tell the others, and I won't scream! I deserve it after all, so just do it! I won't care!". Jack didn't turn around to look at me or didn't even take his hand off of the doorknob, so that just made me sob out. He hates me. I know that he hates me. I took my hand off of him and just collapsed onto the floor.

Surprisingly, Jack picked me up and carried me onto the bed and let me sit in his lap. I just buried my head into his chest while he rubbed my back to calm me down. Only Jack can make me feel like a little kid again.

"Calm down, Finch. I am not going to soak you. What made you think that I wanted to soak you? I never soaked any of you boys before and I am not going to start with you"

"But I deserve it", I muttered into his chest.

"No, you don't. And even if you did, I will never do it to you"

"But what about the Brooklyn mess?"

"Well, I am mad about that because you assumed that they wanted to beat me up when the real reason that they wanted to hunt me down was to protect me from Harlem, but I can forgive all of that". Since when does Spot Conlon care that much about Jack? Never mind, that is not that important right now. "Also, you are not the worst brother that I ever had. No-one is and will never be the worst brother that I ever had, so don't you think that for a second"

"Ok"

"Look, Finch. The important thing that I want you to always remember is that no matter what you do, you will always be my brother and I will always care about you and love you, understand?"

"Yes"

"Good". We just sat in silence for a little bit, but I knew that Jack was going to leave soon, but I didn't want him to leave. I didn't know where to find him if I needed him or I didn't want to run out there in the streets by myself all night looking for him.

"... Can you spend the night here?". That is a stupid question. There is no way that Jack would agree to that.

"Sure. Do you want me to stay in the bedroom? Or do you want to join me on the penthouse?". Never mind.

"The penthouse"

"Ok, I can do that. I am going to tell Crutchie and Davey, but I think that Crutchie might spend the night here too and I don't know about Davey because he left Les at his place, but we will see". So, Jack was staying at Davey's place the whole time? Well, I don't know where Davey lives, but it doesn't matter. Jack agreed to stay and that is all that matters. Maybe we can eventually convince him to stay at the Lodging House permanently. That would be great.

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