AAMININ KO NA, GUSTO KITA.

VIII

( Sorry for the typographical errors and grammatical errors. )

Time is taking it's sweet time erasing you.

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Months passed. Xyle has been true to his words. He never left Cy. He is there when Cy needed someone to accomodate her in check ups. He always made time for her.

But, still her condition was kept as their secret.

Madalas ng napapansin ng mga kaibigan nila and even Czar, na parang may itinatago silang dalawa.

Xyle might not notice the changes becuse he is too focused to be with Cy all the time. And Cy, already have a lot on her plate already to notice that there's this one person—very close to her heart—who is now starting to grow hate towards her.

CY's

I just got home from my check-up.

We are doing everything that Dra. Mendoza advised me to prevent the cancer cells from spreading but as what others say 'cancer is a traitor, a silent killer.'

I also need to undergo partial mastectomy (Partial mastectomy is a surgery that only removes the part of the breast that has cancer ; lumpectomy) to help prevent recurrence but I'm still thinking about it kasi panigurado magdududa sila at panigurado malalaman na nila—what my real condition is.

But

If I won't undego surgery, possibility hat the cancer cells will spread would be very high.

"Love? Balik muna ako saglit sa cafe ha." Pagpapaalam ni Xyle. He went near me and dropped a kiss on my head. "Mag ingat ka, choy! Love you!" I said.

Bago pa man siya tuluyang umalis. Nakuha niya pa rin na magbilin. "Text me kung may kailangan ka ha! Bye, Love you." And in a swift motion he made his way out.

Wala rin naman akong masyadong gagawin dito sa bahay. My doctor advised me to lessen strenuous activities hangga't maaari. Hindi ko rin naman pwedeng papuntahin dito si SS or si Shyriz, or even Czar—Oh how I miss Czar.

Speaking of Czar. We rarely talk to each other, there are times that Xyle will tag her along here but only if the timing will permit. Pero kadalasan naman kapag nandito siya lagi na lang walang kibo—something changed—hindi na katulad ng dati. Our Czar has grown already pero hinahanap pa rin namin yung Czar noon, our bundle of joy—our baby, my baby.

But I could not blame her on how she behaves right now, at some point it's also my fault—dahil sa pagsisinungaling ko hindi lamang kay Czar
kung hindi sa lahat ng kaibigan ko—my lie is the one that puts the barriers in between us. I made that invisible barrier.

I busied myself browsing old photobooks, old letters, and even our old things that I've kept. 

XYLE's

Kauuwi lang namin, sinamahan ko si Cy sa check up niya pero kinailangan ko din na umalis kaagad dahil kailangan kong icheck ang shop. Given the situation, hindi naman kami nagkukulang when it comes to our shops.

But, what's bothering me right now is Cy's decision to delay her surgery.

I know she is fighting and yes I am with her all through out pero hindi rin naman lingid sa amin na oras ang kalaban naman dito, the more she defer it, the faster the possibilities of the cancer cells to spread...and worst, baka lalong lumala ang condition niya.