Birds Of War

Chapter Seven: Bad Blood

The door creaks open and I look up from my book. Lately, Patrik has been giving me books to read from the library. I'm happy for the distraction and something to take up the time. 

Patrik's head peaks out the door and with him the rest of his body. He wears simple but nice clothes, in Scalaen colors. Long black pants and dark green button up shirt, with his dark hair brushed nicely. In his arms are piles of parchment, the paperwork he does in the room with me. He's started to spend more time with me, mostly in silence as I try not to respond to him. 

He takes a seat at the wooden table and I return back to the adventures of Lekly, a warrior has the ability to fly. Lekly goes on a mission with Tiake, a handsome and mysterious solider. They are trying to recover a lost crown, that belongs to the Queen of Adirolf, a fictional kingdom. I admire Lekly, she's powerful and strong, independent too. 

I wish I was like Lekly, she's a like a bird. She can fly both literary and figuratively. I yearn to be able to stretch my wings and fly, like the crows from outside the window. 

"Hey Nil?" Patrik voice causes me to look up and frown. 

"Don't call me that." 

Patrik sighs, "Alright, I just have a question." 

"Then you should ask it." 

"You've changed so much." Sadness swells in his eyes. I feel a soft pang in my chest but bury it.

"That's not a question its a comment. Surely I was better tutor than that." 

He looks at me with sympathy laced with pity, making my face of indifference turn to irritation. "You always had some sass but now your words are full with disdain." 

"I wonder why." I draw out sarcastically while rolling my eyes. I just want to get back to my book. "Are you going to ask me the question or just continue to blab your observations?" Patrik looks like he wants to retort but just shakes his head in exasperation. 

"You've been here for more than a month now..." Patrik takes a deep breath and turns to look out the window. "I just wanted to know...if you needed any...menstrual products." 

I gawk at him, not caring that my mouth is probably hanging open like a fish. He looks at me, hand scratching the back of his neck. "Thats...thats none of your business." 

"I should have made sure you had some before hand, I'm sorry. But you haven't mentioned it or anything. But I remember you being pretty regular and I don't want you uncomfortable." Patrik rambles. 

"I'm fine." I muster out. 

He looks at me, confusion on his features. "How can you be fine?" 

"Drop it." I demand. 

Patrik stands up, looking me over like he's trying to put a puzzle together. "I don't-"

"I said drop it you stupid snake! Do I have to spell it out for you?" I yell at him. Patrik bristles and without a word, walks out the room. 

------

I stare out the window, pressing my cheek to the cold glass. My cheeks feel hot with anger and my mind is racing with anger. I can't believe Patrik would ask me something like that. I couldn't continue reading my book, all I could do is replay the interaction in my head. 

"You've changed so much." 

I mull the words over in brain till the speaker of the voice changes. It's softer and feminine, yet still filled with melancholy. Mum. 

"My darling girl" 

I rush over to my mother, laying weakly on her bed. Her long tangled red locks frame her face and her pale skin looks like it hasn't seen light in so long. 

"Mum, I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I couldn't write to you more" I kneel beside her bed. School was becoming more busy with homework and course work. I should be getting my heredity power soon, with my sixtieth birthday around the corner, so I had to start extra classes. 

"Oh, that's alright darling, I'm just happy that you could come back from school for Christmas." She slowly lifts her hand, stroking my cheek. 

"How are you feeling?" I ask her, desperate for answers. Father was always vague in his letters, filled more with demands and reminders to be well behaved. 

"I'm feeling better now that you're here, my sweet little girl. My darling, you've changed so much." 

"You've changed so much..."

"Nilsia?" Patrik voices breaks me out of my concentration. I glare at him, sending daggers through my eyes. "I got you some supplies, it should last you for a while." I look down and in his hands is a small box, with cotton pads. 

I fume in anger as he puts the box down on the dresser. I get up and grab the box. I pick up a pad, fury coursing through my veins at the sight of it. 

"I told you to drop it!" I howler as I throw the pad at him with all my might. He ducks, with that irritable look of cluelessness on his face. I throw another at him and another. I keep throwing and he stops dodging them, instead staring at me. 

I run out of pads and start pounding my fists on his chest. Soft kisses, tears, laughter, and the blood on the cold tile floor flashes before me. All I can see is red. The red on my hands. The red in the toilet. The red of my mothers hair. Umbra's flag waving in the wind while Father makes a speech to the people below the balcony, a sea of red. More red soaking into my skin. 

I start sobbing, letting so many emotions that I've kept inside, within this small room, out. I kept hitting Patrik's chest, as he just stares at me, in shock, taking the blows. 

There's so much red. 

I stare into Patrik's deep green eyes, ceasing my attack. For a brief moment, his eyes turn red too, matching mine. 

"I hate you." I muster out.