triplets

Part 3

Sharing a birthday wasn't something new to Roksu.

He still hadn't worked out why he was so familiar with it, scattered memories attempted to organize themselves in his head but there were simply too many of them. Compared to the average person, Roksu had far more memories that could never be forgotten.

As a child who's brain hadn't really gotten the knack of a long term memory, it caused him a lot of headaches. Literal aching resounding through his skull as his entire body shook painfully under the intense pressure of memories he couldn't understand and couldn't fully grasp. It normally happened to him the most at night, perhaps because the land of dreams was attempting to organize his scattered thoughts.

When it got bad there would be two hands on either side holding his.

It was a warmth that Roksu wasn't used to. But he was grateful for his siblings then. They didn't ask him about his 'nightmares' and they didn't complain. They were simply there.

There was something about the concept of a person simply remaining at his side without leaving that always made him strangely emotional.

Roksu was a bit excited to share a birthday. It was a fondly nostalgic feeling that built up inside of him when he considered the possibility. Distant memories of a smiling man always pushed their way to the forefront of his mind whenever he tried to understand why.

The sight of him was pleasant and also made his chest ache.

His siblings on the other hand didn't seem to be quite as at home with a shared birthday.

"Do we have to celebrate on the same day?" Cale complained, laying face down on the carpet of the playroom with a groan.

"Do we have to celebrate at all?" Penelope sniped back, flipping through a picture book with the sort of expression that said she'd have strong words with the author if she could.

Roksu sat between them with a thoughtful frown. His own feelings towards birthdays were somewhat complicated, what with the memory of that person always creeping back into his thoughts but he really didn't see what the big deal was with celebrating it. It was just one day and it would pass.

Besides, he liked doing things with his siblings.

"What if I burned down the house? Do we have to celebrate then?" Cale asked, peeking up from his staredown with the carpet.

Penelope shot him a oh lord, you're dumb look as she spoke. "Arson is your answer to everything."

"I don't hear you suggesting anything better." Cale said, flopping back down miserably. "...I don't like it."

"...why not?"

The two looked up to their quiet brother. Roksu was frowning just a bit and he felt strangely upset for a reason that he couldn't even recognize.

He would be three years old in just two days. So would his precocious siblings.

He would be three years old and they shared a birthday with the other two and he didn't know why but he wanted them to be happy about it too. He wanted them to have a good birthday together.

In fact, the more he thought it over, the more his expression pinched up in dismay and his frown deepened. He realized with unerring certainty that he wanted to cry. Outside of infancy, Roksu didn't cry very much at all. Only when the pain from his colliding memories became too much would a few agonized tears squeeze out of his eyes as his tiny body simply couldn't handle the pain.

He wanted to see the man from his memory with aching acuity. Wanted to hear him laugh and say how fun it would be to celebrate together.

It was a disjointed memory that didn't work with any of his current life but it hurt to know that he wasn't here. It hurt to know he couldn't celebrate with him.