DREAMSCAPE | Manjiro S.

Prologue

There was once a guy I kept dreaming of back in Middle school.

I don't know what is it about him that made my knees weak and my cheeks warmer than usual, but the simple thought of him would give me butterflies in my stomach while a smile unconsciously appears on my lips. 

Not only did he plague my mind every day, but he also intrude on my dreams. Strangely enough, most of my dreams regarding him would be the two of us in the future, both happy and content. 

As a teenager who viewed the world in rose-tinted glasses, I deemed those dreams of mine as prophetic dreams.

I mean, who even dreams of someone that much? It could only mean one thing...that he and I are fated to get together in the future. 

Maybe not now, or not tomorrow...but someday we're surely bound to fall in love. I just need to wait and be patient. 

So with that expectations and thoughts, I ended up digging myself much deeper in love with him that it became my habit to look around and expect a certain blonde to appear. Just a brief look at his warm and childish smile brightens up my entire day. The few simple "hi" and "hello" we exchange when we coincidentally bump into each other could get me to finish the most tiresome and boring work there is. 

Being the friendly guy that he is, he was usually the first to greet me while it took up all the courage I had just to utter a simple "hello". 

He's someone who shines brightly as the blazing sun and has a natural charm that attracts people to his side. A natural-born leader and charismatic guy who's also childish and carefree. Despite his overwhelming power and the gang violence he was exposed to at an early age, he never used his fist to hurt anyone undeserving of it. 

The lives we lead are as different as night and day, we're neither schoolmates nor neighbors, but even so, we kept bumping into each other more than once. Perhaps this is fate? 

Though, back then as a child, I thought nothing of it.

"He's not even that attractive" the younger me scoffed after seeing a glimpse of that familiar pale blonde hair and jet-black eyes in the distance. 

Since my house was near the playground, I often catch him playing there with his friends while a big, innocent, and dazzling smile was plastered on his round face. I do have friends my age but I wasn't allowed outside much due to my sickly body and so I was usually left alone. I envied kids like him who can go out to play under the heat of the midday sun without a care in the world. 

Despite the holier-than-thou attitude that I observed he had, he seemed like a lot of fun so I would sometimes watch from afar through the window while thinking of what it'd be like to be part of his friend group. Mom would probably never let me cause she said they're related to delinquents and with my weak body it's not a good idea to be involved.

Being the obedient child that I am, I did as she told me. I didn't try to approach him, and even if I did want to be his friend

He's but a boy my age whom I just happen to bump into frequently. There's plenty of other kids I could befriend

Yes... that's all he's supposed to mean to me at first

and now here I am, mourning the death of my first love.