trichotillomania.

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"Should I just shave my head?"

"Why not? You're already ruining your hair."

"Rude."

"What? It's true. You cut off random sections yesterday and you have like, seven bald spots."

"So . . . I should shave my head bald."

"Why not?"

"But-"

"But?"

"But what would happen to my femininity?"

"You're still a female. You still have boobs and a vag."

"Unless I'm secretly a transgender and you've been living a lie your entire life."

"I accidentally walked into you changing multiple times. I don't think you're a dude in disguise, or something."

"Fucking pervert."

"I'm not!"

"Walking into me changing and being a pervert."

"MOM TELLS ME TO BRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY DOWN. LIKE, ALL THE TIME."

". . ."

"Don't give me that smug smile."

". . ."

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN SMILING?"

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