Mötley crüe x reader

Fifty-three

"No Thomas I don't want to talk about it" I groaned 

"He didn't wrap up his present and now you're pregnant? Is that what it is?" Tommy rose a brow 

"Shut up! That's not what happened" I groaned once again hitting Tommy's shoulder

"Then why is there a positive pregnancy test in the trash mhhmh?" Tommy hummed smiling 

"It's-"

While groaning from my nap, I remembered the dream I had just two seconds before. I looked to my right and saw Tommy asleep beside me on the tour bus. I smiled softly and sat down hearing Nikki talking with Mick and Vince, I groaned standing up and walked over to them sitting beside Nikki laying my head on his shoulder.

"Morning sleeping beauty" Vince chuckled sipping his cup of water loudly

"Hey boys" I mumbled closing my eyes 

"Hi sweetheart" Nikki whispered placing his hand on my knee and rubbing it

"Can we have sex?" I asked mumbling again as Vince choked on his water coughing

I opened my eyes and rose a brow looking at the blondie in front of me

"I mean yes?" Nikki replied

"So that's how you ask?" Vince questioned frowning 

"Uhh yes? Yes, Vince, that's how you ask" I replied nodding as Mick laughed

"Now?" Nikki asked as I shook my head 

"Later" I mumbled closing my eyes again

"Fuck girls are crazy" Vince giggled

"I'll show you crazy" I mumbled once again

"No thank you Y/n I'm okay" He laughed

They then began to talk again as I zoned out thinking...

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"Razz?"

"Yes darlin?"

"Can you remind me of what love feels like?" I asked putting a little amount of coke in my long nail snorting it and then rubbing my finger on my teeth

"Butterflies in the pit of your stomach... A wide smile when they're around... Why?" Razzle asked turning his head towards me

"Because I can't seem to know if I'm in love with Tommy or Nikki... I don't- I don't feel any of this with either of them" I said rubbing my forehead

"Mhhhmh... Okay, how do ya feel when Tommy is holding you into a protective hug?" 

I smiled and leaned back on the sofa resting my head on the back of it.

"Safe and loved" I smiled once again closing my eyes

"And when Nikki does do it?" He asked as I felt his head on my lap, I pulled my hand to his hair playing with it

"Safe but... Unloved" I replied clearing my throat

"And why is that?" He questioned

"He's using me to get what he wants, he knows how much Tommy loves me. He knows where to hit" I mumbled once again

"Is that what is really happening or is it just an "I feel like"kind of feeling?" He questioned once again

"Mhhhmhh... B-both?"

"It's probably due to him getting whatever he wants whenever he wants...?" Razzle asked

"Nikki is just a real asshole. And Tommy- Tommy is Tommy" I shrugged