Between The Books-Michael Clifford

Forty Six

Star's POV

The funeral was really nice. Maggie had everything already set up so Jax really didn't have to do a lot. He seemed ok while we were at the church, but at the graveside service, he broke down. It was heartbreaking. I've never seen him like that before.

The weather was beautiful today. Finally warming up. No more snow, now just spring downpours, but today it was sunny. Everyone was there. Not just Lickit, but many friends of his from school. Most of his soccer and football team, several high school friends of his, Kyle and Carla, and of course Nate. Nate was good, didn't do anything or say anything to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable, even said hello to Laney and Marcus.

Hopefully all the Laney and Nate drama is done. Being sober when you're around your ex and her new boyfriend, is a completely different situation then when you're drunk.

I've been with Jax all day. After the funeral everyone said goodbye to Jax and went home. We didn't do the usual get together at someone's house, stand around and eat, talking about how wonderful Maggie was. How much she'll be missed. She was, wonderful, and she will be missed. It's such a stupid custom. Who wants to go through that, listen to people feel sorry for you and all the forced hugging, and telling you they understand how hard it must be. Which most don't. He's going back to his house in Mount Vernon, Friday after classes, for the weekend. He wants me to go, but I have to work.

Thank God. Just having to spend that much time alone with him...would be really awkward. Awkward for me. I guess he wouldn't have any reason for it to be awkward as he still thinks everything's fine between us.

So dreading telling him. I will though. I have to. I'm going to wait until after he gets back from Mount Vernon. Hopefully by then he'll be doing a little better.

Michael looked really amazing today. He had on a dark blue dress shirt which looked really good with the blue in his hair. He smiled at me when he came over to talk to Jax. I felt my heart pounding in my chest for the whole five or so minutes they were talking. I was convinced Jax could see how I feel about Michael. I instantly feel like my body is on fire whenever I'm close to him. Jax even asked me if I was ok, that my face looked flushed. Yeah, well it was, but not for any reasons he could've known.

"Hey, thanks for being here today." Jax says. We're standing outside my dorm. It's about 7:30 and Jax has just brought me back.

"Of course. I thought everything was really nice, Jax. Will you be ok tonight, is Nate going to be there?" I ask.

"I'll be fine, and yes he's home. Has a french test tomorrow. He wants Laney back, by the way."

"Well, I feel bad for him. I always liked Nate, Jax, but there's no way she'll get back with him. She's in love with Marcus."

"She was in love with Nate."

"Not like this, Jax. Nowhere near as much as this." I'm not trying to be rude, but Nate's got NO chance.

"Hmm. You think you can do that, be in love with someone, everything's goin' good, and then just fall in love with someone else?" He says, looking at me.

What is he doing? There's no way he's talking about us...right? He's still talking about Laney and Nate.

"Um, I wouldn't have thought so...until Laney met Marcus. Jax, you didn't see them, haven't seen it like I have. She's head over heels. He feels the same. I think maybe what she felt for Nate, maybe that wasn't really love. Not that she didn't care about him. She did, and I think she truly thought she was in love with him." I'm starting to shiver. I only have a loose crocheted cardigan on. Not the best for spring in Columbus, Ohio.

"I can see that. I'm happy for her. I like Nate, but Laney's also my friend, and if she's happier with Marcus, then good for her. Marcus is a good guy. He'll be good to her." He reaches out and takes my hands in his.

"What about us? You think that could ever happen to us, Baby?" He asks, pulling me in for a hug.

"What, fall for someone else?" I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him...not yet.

"Yeah. It happened to Laney, and we all thought she and Nate would go the distance." He says.

Getting awkward.

"Well, I'm not sure that's true. I mean, she was hooking up with Max. There must've been a reason for that, maybe something not going so well between Nate and her, that the rest of us didn't see." I pull back, feel him let go reluctantly, and smile. "It's getting colder, I really should go in. I've got some notes to get from Kyle for History of Civ." I say, pulling my sweater tighter around me.

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll come over after lunch. My Russian Lit class is canceled so I'm free all afternoon."

Oh. I don't know why I'm freaking. As long as I avoid sex, it'll be just like always. Hanging out, walking around campus, maybe get coffee. How hard is that?

"Sure. Sounds good! Text me later."

"Yep, see ya tomorrow." He says, and turns to walk back to his truck.

Ok, so today went well. Sad seeing Jax like that, but much less awkward then I thought it was going to be. Actually I thought he did really well. I'm not so sure I could've handled it that good if it had been me in his shoes. I walk through the front doors of Mack Hall and head upstairs. Just as I open the stairwell door, I see Kyle coming down.

"Hey, I was just coming to find you." I say.

"Course you were, Baby. That's what all the chicks say." He says, flashing me that perfect smile.

"Wow. Where's your girl? She know you're lurking in the stairwells pickin' up the ladies?" I say, laughing.

"Nah, girl, I know better then to do that when she's around! Wanna come back to my room, Star? I got some history notes just beggin' to be looked at by your fine ass."

"Well, how could I say no to that?! Lead the way, Baby!" I say, pushing him back up the stairs.