laundry love [completed]

t h i r t y f o u r : smudged trousers

c o u g h . c o u g h . c o u g h .

"excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. my friend here, adrian macintyre, has been diagnosed with chronic bowel syndrome. symptoms include cramping, bloating, diarrhoea and a frequent problem of flatulence. i'd like to apologize in advance if this happens to be a matter of inconvenience."

"..."

"..." r r r - i i i - p p p .

"ira, just you just...handfart? people will think that it was..."

"you? uh-huh."

"..."

"..." p p p - f f f - f f f - s s s .

"stop it, ira."

"nu-uh."

"ira, i beg of you."

"..." p p p - h h h - r r r - t t t .

"at least reduce the frequency. and the volume."

"..." b a d u m t s s .

" i r a ."

"excuse me, miss? i was wondering if you had some kind of a supplement to help control his...situation? and an extra pair of pants, please?

"i did not shit my pants."

"i wonder what that brown stain is? perhaps, a bit of...chocolate mousse?"

"fuck. you."