The Devil's Grasp

Pain

The pain never goes away nor does the fear of stopping in your tracks when you see someone who looks like your attacker. The fear of putting your kids behind you and squeezing their hand because your just as scared as them. The fear will never go away the people around you that say it'll pass no it will never. Finally coming out two years ago with what I went through at a tender age was a weight off my shoulder but still a huge burden. I know I'll get there and I know the fear will pass. I don't love myself, I don't feel pretty, I refuse to have my long hair or my natural hair color you ruined that for me. You're strange obsession with my long blonde hair made me sick you controlled the length I was never allowed to dye it. I hate my hair color I hate having long hair, but I miss it but if I have it back, I'd feel like I'm under your control, I'd view myself as that little girl, being molested in her pink monkey blanket, under the roof of her mother's house, happening right under her nose as she did nothing to protect her daughter.  Knowing what you did to me at a tender age, and trying to do what you did to me to my friends makes me sick. Knowing that you had your claws in my cousins back makes me dread that that terrible thing ever happened. I wish you nothing but the worst, and I promise that will happen, you don't deserve anything good in your life and you never will.  You ruined my innocence took what should have been a special moment in a girls life away for your own selfish needs. And for that I hate you.