What a Pity

Ch. 25: So maybe I'm not okay

filipendulous
(adj.) hanging by a thread

My eyes slowly open, and I groan loudly. My head is pounding and my eyes hurt.

I look around the room and I see Ares sitting in a chair in the corner, sleeping. I wait for my eyes to adjust but they never do. Everything is blurry.

I struggle to stand up, grab some clothes, and head to the bathroom to take a shower. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. Good thing I can barely see. I'm probably covered in bruises and scratches.

I take off my clothes, and grab a shower cap. I notice my hair makes me look like I got struck by lightning from the frizziness. It's still blonde but the last time I straightened it was the night before I went to heartthrob. And I haven't been wearing a bonnet, smart choice I know.

I hop into the shower. I let the water run down my body. I wince as I wash my body, the scratches that litter my body burn as soap gets into them.

My emotions filling up inside of me finally bubble over. I begin sobbing into my hands. I really am pathetic. I cry as I think about everything. What's wrong with me?

Why do I push everyone away? Why do I always say I'm okay, when I know I'm not. Why can't I open up to people. Why am I scared of love?

I act like I'm all tough but as soon as I'm alone I cry. Every damn night. Maybe I get what I deserve. Maybe this God finally punishing me for the things I've done. I thought I could escape my own judgment but I can't.

I look into my hands. Even though I can't see much, I can see the bright color red sitting in my palms. Blood.

I use the back of my hand to wipe my eyes. I then look at it and see the same color stained onto me. My breathing picks up, I quickly rinse off and get out of the shower.

I run over to the mirror and look at my face. Blood runs down my face. I gasp in horror as I see the blood is coming from my eyes. "Ares?" I shout.

I grab a towel and wrap it around my body. I walk out of the bathroom and see an empty chair. Shit, he probably already went downstairs. I put on some underwear and wrap the towel back on.

"Ares?" I yell. "Dante? Lucca? Anybody?" I scream louder. I try to run to the door but my legs collapse from under me. I fall onto the floor.

I cry harder. I bring my knees to my chest and breathe heavily. The room feels like it's shrinking and I feel myself shaking. "It's all gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay. It's all gonna be.." I say to myself over and over again.
I cry and shake.

I feel like I'm going to be sick. My head begins throbbing. My stomach tightens and I feel the pizza from last night sliding up my throat.

The door swings open suddenly. "Evelyn?" Ares runs over to me. "Evelyn, what's wrong?" He asks as he lifts me into his arms.

I look up at him and his body flinches slightly. "You're eyes." I cry harder.

"Ares, I can't- I'm gonna be sick." I mumble the last part and he carries me over to the toilet. He places me down in front of it and holds my hair back as I throw up.

When I finish, I see blood in the toilet. "Oh God..."

"Evelyn, stay calm okay? I'm gonna take you to the hospital." He grabs his phone and calls someone. "Call an ambulance. It's Evelyn." He says.

He hangs up and grabs me. "I'm taking you downstairs." He picks my up carefully and carries me down the stairs. "Lucca!"

He sits me on the couch and keeps screaming at people. My insides feel like they're on fire. I whimper and Lucca suddenly runs up to me.