I was all like I'm sad and who do I vent to. But I forgot this exists. Anyway, I wanted to talk about something really important today.
So when I got cheated on and dumped after putting in everything I could for someone I loved. My friend called me an idiot (paraphrasing it was a much more vulgar term) for loving someone undeserving, saying that, "yes your efforts were good and well planned, but where are the results?"
And something about that hurt me. Hurt me beyond relief that I cut him out. And I kept saying no the process is important. The process is important. Because I truly believe that and that's what my mum has taught me for a good amount of time.
Of course everyone becomes result oriented. Because that's more rewarding, that's more credible in every capitalist society.
But putting results over the process, is not just a matter of preference. There lies something more sinister underneath that whole, 'doesn't matter what you did in the end you didn't get the results' approach.
When we prioritise the results, or deem the process worthless. We are essentially saying the means don't matter, implicitly implying that morality is to be compromised.
That how you do it doesn't matter as long as you get it done. If you have results, no one will question you.
The bhagvad geeta has a text that has always stuck with me,
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥
Paraphrasing, it means keep working without the expectation of the fruit. We are entitled to put in the efforts, but not to their results.
And of course as a child I didn't understand it, just I was fascinated by it.
And as the years pass I realise it better. Why the process matters... I have always been someone heavily process oriented. And gotten chastised for not being goal-oriented or sometimes even not achieving those goals. (Ok tbh most times)
But now I guess I'm glad I have a solid case. Maybe now I will trust the process more. Not purely on whim, but based on reason.
And hopefully more people engage in respecting and prioritising the process over the goals.
